Okay, that’s a lie. Interviewer #1: Before we get started, can I offer you anything to drink? Me: No, that’s okay, I had more than enough to drink last night. Interviewer #1: I meant water. Me: Oh. Well, in that case, definitely not. Interviewer #2 (Coughs): Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself? Me: Sure. I’m 5’11”, a Sagittarius… sorry, I don’t know why I said that I’m a little nervous. Interviewer #2 (Smiles): That’s ok, humor sometimes helps break the tension. Why don’t you start again. Me: Thanks. I’m actually an Aquarius. I said I was…
Author: Phil O'Reilly
Phil O'Reilly
Phil lives in Vancouver, British Columbia where he alternates his time between trying to write funny things and screaming at the Ottawa Senators on TV. Both pay about the same amount. Twitter: https://x.com/orphmi Substack: https://schrodingerschicken.substack.com/
Ten Was Way Too Many. We love your movie idea! Ya, “The Ten Commandments!” We have some notes though. First, Moses’ beard has to go. Robes aren’t fashionable either. We need to hook the kids. Contact Stacy in wardrobe. She’ll help pull together a new look. Moses is 80 when he leads the Israelites out of Egypt? Too old! He should be about 30. A young 30. Think Timothée Chalamet but good looking. What’s Moses’ wife’s name? Sephora? Beautiful! The product placement writes itself! We can’t throw away a gold mine like that on a secondary character though. She’ll…
Ambition is overrated. Hey, can we talk? No, don’t look around, I’m not out there, I’m here. Ya, in your head. It’s me, The Little Voice In Your Head. You know, the guy who told you not to put all your money into Crypto when it was at $100,000. Gut Feeling: You said the same thing when it was $10. Shut up Gut! Gut Feeling: There was also the whole Jenny fiasco. Shut… Ok, yes, I did tell you that Jenny was way out of your league and not to ask her out. Gut Feeling: And then she grew…