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    Home»All Content»The Hub»Articles»Sports»All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation
    Sports

    All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation

    Ken HogartyBy Ken HogartyApril 4, 2025No Comments2 Mins Read
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    Big League batters, even White Sox hitters, universally clamor for parity with the Bronx Bombers. Yankee Torpedo Bats, shaped like bowling pins, feature expanded sweet spots. Brainiacs have other novel bats in the works for situational hitting, a few of which might make you go batty:

    Nellie Fox Bottle Bat – Souping up old model

    George Brett Pine Tar Bat – Stickum part of wood grain

    Louisville Mugger – Useful against fielders when circling bases

    Wonderboy Bat – Naturally, for destroying scoreboards

    ICBM Bat — More explosive than a Torpedo

    Tennis Bat – For making contact

    Oar Bat – Also for making contact

    Jai Alai or Lacrosse Bat – For spray hitting to all fields

    Artificial Intelligence Bat – Swings itself

    Sand Wedge Bat – Seeking bloop hits

    Driver Bat – For smoking low pitches

    Croquet Bat – Bunting pitches down in the zone

    Sonar Bat – Tracks sound and speed of pitch

    Magic Wand Bat – Hitting to avoid fielders

    Baton Bat – To orchestrate rallies

    Lightsaber Bat – To be a star

    Cat in the Hat Bat – No rhyme or reason

    Pickle Bat – Green and no need to run far

    Tat Bat – It just looks cool

    Rat Bat – Hitting balls through infield holes

    Wild Thing Bat – For free swingers

    Rocket Bat – For launching big flies

    Bat Mitzvah – No longer swinging like a girl

    Zen Bat – Picture that sweet stroke

    Chat Bat – Built in Siri tells you when to swing

    Psychedelic Bat – For fun trips around the bases

    Batshit Bat – Makes you crazy good

    GPS Bat – Detects trajectory, spin, and location

    Baseball Bats Ken Hogarty MLB
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    Ken Hogarty

    Dr. Ken Hogarty, who lives in SF’s East Bay with his wife Sally, retired after a 46-year career as a high school teacher and principal. Since, he has had stories, essays, memoirs, and comedy pieces published in Underwood, Sport Literate, Under Review, Sequoia Speaks, Woman’s Way, Purpled Nails, the S.F. Chronicle, McQueen’s, Points in Case, Glossy News, The Satirist, and Good Old Days. His novel, Recruiting Blue Chip Prospects recently launched to good reviews. You can preview the novel or check out other works at Kenhogarty.net.

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