Author: Walt Braley

I’ve decided that this year, I’m treating Christmas exactly like Ray’s birthday party, Cynthia’s bridal shower, and Joe’s weekly Magic The Gathering night. I’m only going if I can confirm that no one I don’t want to be around is also going. It’s honestly pretty simple. I was invited to a party happening at my childhood home the night of the 24th and morning of the 25th. I am simply waiting to RSVP (text my mom I’ll be there) until I find out if any of these people are also invited and/or going to show up: Uncle Rob, my cousin…

This universal and relatable lifehack can be used by just about anyone this holiday season. It’s simple, effective, and will probably not lower your current status with your ex-wife any lower than it already is at this juncture. The next time you meet your ex to drop off your kids (4 and 6) on a Sunday afternoon, casually slip in during your goodbyes that you asked Santa for a Nintendo Switch 2. The entire ride back to their mom and Derek’s house, they will (assumedly) talk about how exciting that is and how cool it is that Santa is getting…

I have done a number of “if you come to this show I’ll do blank!” posts in the last year, and the only one I’ve ever had payoff was the one where if anyone yelled out “do the Dew” I would chug a Mountain Dew. It turned out, in that instance, my wife told them to yell that. So this time, no funny business. No games. No challenges. I am simply bringing a box of Robot Butt shirts to our show this Thursday night at Second City, and if you come to the show, I will give you one. Just…

I love making dumb fake marketing materials for things that don’t exist and simply could never exist and then posting those things to this website and pretending we made them earnestly. That’s all that this image should be. The visual is funny to me. The perfect nails. The little writing that says “cheeseburger” right under what is obviously a cheeseburger. It’s just a solid goof. If I had made this post the way I intended, the headline would have been “Hurry! This Burger Is On Sale But ONLY This One!” or something. The piece would have had lots of all…

You know how magazines used to get kickass Frazetta art and post seven page short stories called like “Eye of the Crystal Wizard” or whatever? You don’t know what I’m talking about? Magazines used to devote space to stuff like this: I thought it would be cool to make a joke version of that kind of thing for our website, since we’re kind of like a magazine (almost extinct) and I’m kind of like Robert E. Howard (obsessed with buff men), except not debatably racist.

I truly have no idea what to do about this. I was on Yelp looking to see what places around me had good reviews when I saw that there was apparently a small business literally at my exact address. That’s how I found out the bathroom in my apartment is listed for some reason and has over 900 reviews. I live completely alone. How is this happening? Who is letting these people in? I have be honest. After reading 700+ of the reviews, I am less upset by the mere existence and more bummed by the 3.2 out of 5…

Welcome, fearful readers, I recently wrote and lettered a terrifying horror comic in the vein of EC comics that is sure to keep you awake long into the night. However, the artist I partnered with on the project said he thought my script was “lacking” and “delivered nearly six weeks later than I said I’d do it” and ultimately we had to mutually agree to part ways. I think the comic is still effectively scary, and probably way better than it would have been if it was cluttered by John’s “art.” Now, turn down the lights, turn up the brightness…

Here’s a normal cartoon about backpacks and seeing a hit new feature film on the big screen!

It’s happening again. This time, for free! We’re doing another live show in Chicago! Last time we put a link to buy tickets here, but this time, there are no tickets! You just show up, sit down, and laugh until I do something that confuses you. We have a wild lineup of acts including a mime, magician, comedy band, actual live animal, and a few more that we are keeping a surprise because they aren’t as immediately interesting as those other. Come and see a night of comedy unlike anything else in the entire city! The playground Theater 4416 N…