Author: The Robot Butt Staff

We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.

Staff Posts

Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

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We make jokes and yell falsities every day here, so I couldn’t think of anything good to do for April Fools’ Day. I decided the only thing kind of clever would be to post something fully true or earnest, since that would be a subversion of posting things we made up or find ironic. Well, I couldn’t really think of anything genuine to write about either, so I thought of the first thing that felt “serious” and “true.” So here’s my actual SSN: 920-78-2110 Haha, we love to have fun here. Please appreciate that this bit requires no further action.…

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Sports

LIFEHACK: When Your Dad Texts You About Not Understanding The Bad Bunny Halftime Show, Reuse Your Responses From The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show

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It is inevitable that at some point during or after Bad Bunny’s performance at the Super Bowl, you will receive some sort of confused, maybe even angry, text message from your dad. It can seem like a trap to respond at all, but you’re forgetting that this year is not unique, and you’ve been here before. It is almost certain that whatever text you’ve just received matches a similar one you received this time last year during or after Kendrick Lamar’s performance. Even if the wording is completely different, we promise the intent and meaning behind the text is the…

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Capitalism

We Lost Another One. This Local Bakery Rejected Our Ad Campaign Pitch

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Welp, there’s another $25,000 of research and market testing down the drain. Our efforts to convert this unfocused website into a morally grey money-making empire have failed yet again. We thought we could maybe break into the marketing consultation space, and figured how better to get our nasty feet in the door than to start small. So we reached out to a tiny corner bakery near Steve’s house and offered to run their next big marketing push both in print, media, socials, etc. They were into it, and told us they’d check out our pitch! So we worked tirelessly to…

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