Author: The Robot Butt Staff

Welp, there’s another $25,000 of research and market testing down the drain. Our efforts to convert this unfocused website into a morally grey money-making empire have failed yet again. We thought we could maybe break into the marketing consultation space, and figured how better to get our nasty feet in the door than to start small. So we reached out to a tiny corner bakery near Steve’s house and offered to run their next big marketing push both in print, media, socials, etc. They were into it, and told us they’d check out our pitch! So we worked tirelessly to…

Chicago’s absurdist talk show is back! We’re doing four completely different shows with Robot Butt themed bits, improv, crowd-work, stand-up, and a ton of acts way more difficult to describe. Come out and enjoy the chaos. Tickets!

The second Robot Butt Live! was last week, complete with hard-hitting interviews, actual real magic, and original songs designed to change the world. Check out some of the photos from it HERE, and stay tuned for the next one!

I heard Dan once sawed an audience member in half for real. Apparently the “trick” was beating all the charges in a multi-month court case. This guy is the real deal, and he’s just one of multiple sickos you can see perform at the show this Sunday night! The playground Theater 4416 N Clark Street, 2nd Floor 7:30PM

Well, it’s been a week! You all should have had time to listen to the Spotify playlist we posted last week. Jump in the comments below and lets collectively decide what we think about Idris Elba’s music career. I’ll get us started with a thorough review we can use as a jumping off point!

No, nothing happened or anything. He’s just 98 years old and I googled just to make sure. Kind of feels like we’re at the point here where anytime one of us checks, it counts as news worth spreading regardless of the result. If anyone I know just randomly checks, I’d want them to text me either way. We are nothing here if not factual and careful during all of our reporting. That’s why we are confident in our journalistic integrity as we state that as of this report, Brooks is still alive! We hope it stays that way forever, but…

Idris Elba is obviously a musician. There’s a ton of proof of this, like his feature on the Macklemore song “Dance Off” or his role in the motion picture Cats. Famously, my mom, a fanatic that saw Cats live multiple times, once said she didn’t think the new Cats movie was CGI. I, dumbfounded, said “mom, it’s ALL CGI.” She responded “It’s not CGI, it’s Idris Elba.” it’s hard to argue with that. I didn’t know he had multiple albums, so instead of posting or reading today, we’re all going to take a bit and listen to his music and…

There’s no post today. Instead, enjoy “McGruff’s Smart Kids Album,” a very real kids album released in 1982 to teach children moral lessons like “don’t smoke marijuana” and “don’t do cocaine.”

A few days ago we announced our new “Team Member of the Month” initiative, and we announced the first selectee would be Ryan. Unfortunately, Ryan died gracefully the very next day when he rocketed into the ground from 4,000 feet up. During the services and all throughout meetings today where we were trying to figure out if anyone other than Ryan knows how to keep the site online, Walt continuously asked what this means for the team member of the month. He insisted that we can’t have a deceased person be our first ever reward recipient, and also that “since…

It’s a very sad day here at Robot Butt HQ, as we’ve lost the heart of our team. Ryan unfortunately passed away gently and quietly in his sleep during a routine skydiving excursion, after his chute didn’t deploy. Investigators on the scene said that it looked like his bag had been tampered with earlier in the day, and that someone had taken the parachute out of it. They also said it was stretched, as if someone had tried to replace the chute with an anvil, but failed to get it inside. This news comes only a day after Ryan was…