We here at the Moreland Police Department are committed to the physical and spiritual wellbeing of our law enforcement officers, statistically the most discriminated against group in America. In this dangerous age of riots, pandemics, and murder hornets, we need to be sure that our town’s people and institutions are standing behind our brave police.
We regret to inform our fellow Morelanders that the Scoops & Smiles ice cream parlor on Denton Boulevard is not living up to this obligation.
The ice cream treats served at Scoops & Smiles are vital to the proper operation of our police services. The calorie-dense food keeps our officers nourished during the intensive work of foot chases, fights, and shootouts, and the cool temperature helps prevent overheating in hot summer climates. Officers who collapse from heat stroke or low blood sugar compromise our ability to keep Moreland safe.
This fact appears to be lost on the employees of Scoops & Smiles. Time and again, our officers dining at this shop have had to endure insults, disrespect, and outright discrimination.
Since the COVID-19 pandemic began, Scoops & Smiles employees have been inflexible in enforcing their mask restrictions on our officers, even when informed that many officers find it difficult to breathe while wearing both full Kevlar and a mask. Frankly, it is insulting to our police department to insinuate that we would send officers to work while sick with a deadly disease.
Despite being informed that officers must be near their cruisers at all times in case of emergency, Scoops & Smiles employees have harassed Moreland police officers for parking in red zones, curbs, sidewalks, wheelchair ramps, and slightly inside the establishment. Cashier Daniela Barton told our officers they didn’t “need” to visit six times daily, that they should “park at the meter like everyone else” and that the walk would “do [them] good” – a disrespectful and body-shaming comment.
Citing financial difficulties due to the pandemic, Scoops & Smiles no longer offers any form of discount or promotion for police officers, forcing Moreland’s finest to dip in their own pockets simply to remain fed and alert on the job. Scoops & Smiles also now charges separately for each individual topping, a move widely seen as discriminatory toward our officers who enjoy a wide variety of toppings, and no longer allows officers to order a free cup of toppings (officer Farmington was so distraught by the loss of his daily cup of Oreo crumbles that he had to take four days’ personal leave). When informed that sluggish, underfed officers might fail to protect the store from robbery, employees rudely and baselessly accused officers of extortion.
The customer service shown to Moreland PD officers has been consistently poor. Even though they know that officers can be called away at any moment, employees seemingly go out of their way to serve officers as slowly as possible. Employees rarely smile at or make eye contact with officers, and refuse to laugh at their many hilarious jokes, which makes officers feel suspicious and angry. On one occasion, Officer Gephart was forced to pour a milkshake out on a table, two booth seats, and employee Quentin Garner’s apron, on a reasonable suspicion that Garner had contaminated it with spit or other foreign matter. Garner and his fellow employees were unbelievably discourteous while cleaning up the mess, though this is what they get paid for.
This poor treatment reflects badly on the character of Scoops & Smiles’ employees. Most of Scoops & Smiles’ employees are teenagers – a prime age group for anti-police radicalization – and many of them have long histories of interaction with the MPD. The shop’s management allows them to play crime-glorifying hip-hop music over the store’s speakers, making our officers feel unsafe. Audio surveillance has confirmed that these employees, amongst themselves, slur our officers with names like “dum dums,” “butt monkeys,” and “needle-dicked potato men.”
What dangerous activities take place behind closed doors is anyone’s guess. To take only one example: seventeen-year-old employee Audrey Boatwright made “oinking” noises at Officer Kosic, claiming afterward that she was congested because of allergies. Officer Kosic noticed a distinct odor of marijuana on her, and later apprehended her at her home and performed a search, finding 1.2 pounds of uncut fentanyl in her brassiere.
The owner and general manager of Scoops & Smiles, Kendra Baker, does not seem to appreciate the extent of the criminal element in her shop. She has two employees of Latin extraction, and when asked to furnish proof of their legal residency, was unwilling (or possibly unable) to do so. She has also refused a good-faith request for the mobile phone numbers and social media accounts of her employees, who could very well be involved in gang activity. Most alarmingly, Ms. Baker has harassed the MPD, taking up valuable time and resources, with false accusations of improper conduct. She insists that MPD officers broke into her shop after hours, despite a confession note found at the scene clearly identifying antifa as the culprit.
At the moment, Scoops & Smiles is closed by order of the MPD while we test a shipment of mini M&Ms suspected to contain ecstasy. In the meantime, Morelandians are encouraged to buy their ice cream at the recently reopened Dairy Queen franchise on Stuart, which obeys the law, supports their local police, and has Wonder Woman Cookie Collision Blizzards.
