CRYPTOCURRENCY: A type of digital money, like Bitcoin.
CRYPTOSPORIDIUM: A parasite that causes severe diarrhea.
BOTH: Can be acquired on the USC campus.
CRYPTOCURRENCY: Transferred anonymously using a blockchain.
CRYPTOSPORIDIUM: Transferred anonymously by the men’s water polo team.
CRYPTOCURRENCY: Obtained by spending over $10,000 for one bitcoin.
CRYPTOSPORIDIUM: Obtained by swallowing water contaminated with feces.
BOTH: You’re eating shit.
CRYPTOCURRENCY: Has no value beyond what people will pay for it.
CRYPTOSPORIDIUM: Oh, you’ll pay for it.
CRYPTOCURRENCY: Leaves you vulnerable to theft from hackers.
CRYPTOSPORIDIUM: Leaves you vulnerable to leakage.
BOTH: You have to clench real hard to keep everything contained.
CRYPTOCURRENCY: Useful but unpredictable means of preserving anonymous transactions in a cashless society.
CRYPTOSPORIDIUM: Useful but unpredictable means of losing weight before Caitlyn’s wedding.
CRYPTOCURRENCY: Many people are intrigued by it, but few understand it.
CRYPTOSPORIDIUM: Requires half-hour visits to the office bathroom.
BOTH: If you’ve got it, your coworkers are gonna have some questions.
