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    Home»All Content»The Hub»Articles»Life»Why Is My Poop Black?
    Life

    Why Is My Poop Black?

    SteveBy SteveMay 23, 2019Updated:November 7, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
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    Man Looking Into Toilet

    If you look in the toilet and are mortified at what is staring back at you, you’ve come to the right place. Many people are driven to search “Why is my poop black?” when their turds become darker than the night, and it’s completely understandable. No one likes looking into the void.

    You’ll find plenty of medical sites offering explanations for this unsettling occurrence, such as ingesting medications that contain bismuth or taking iron supplements. Hell, they’ll try to tell you that black stool is simply the cause of eating black food. That’s what you get for eating black licorice, you freaks!

    But you might also find that black poop could be caused by something a little more serious, such as a bleeding ulcer or a problem in the upper digestive tract.

    Even so, I’m here to tell you that your poop is ultimately black not for these reasons. These are simply the aimless guesses of a medical community baffled by what’s before them. Doctors always want to appear to have the answer, but there is no answer for black stool other than it being evidence that you have been possessed by Gorzu, a demonic entity that consumes your soul and escapes with it through your anus, catching a ride in your poop before descending back into hell to feast for all eternity.

    Why Is My Poop Black? Is It Really Because of a Demon Inside Me?

    This likely isn’t the answer you were hoping for, but it’s the one you needed to hear. Maybe you thought it was kind of fun to get closer to the toilet bowl and inspect the jet-black stool lining the white bowl, the stark contrast entrancing you.

    But now that you know the true reason for your black poop, that Gorzu the Soul Demon has chosen you as his newest vessel, you might suddenly see the novelty of your black stool in a completely different light – or lack thereof.

    You see, once Gorzu has tethered himself to your eternal soul, there is no way to reverse it, and by the time you see his presence in your poop, it is far too late. By that point, the hell creature has already extracted your eternal being from your earthly body and is well on his way to consuming it, piece by piece, in Satan’s realm.

    The worst part of it all is that once your physical form dies, you will, of course, join Gorzu. As you die on Earth, your soul is all that will be left, and Gorzu has punched you a one-way ticket to his Kingdom of Flayed Souls and Unrelenting Suffering.

    So What Can You Do About Your Demonic Black Poop?

    Unfortunately, nothing. You can continue to go through your life thinking it’s something as benign as the result of eating blueberries. Or maybe you’ll go to a doctor and they’ll tell you it’s “gastritis,” “enlarged veins,” or “melena.”

    But deep down, you’ll know it’s Gorzu, who has been consuming you from the inside. Gorzu, who has infiltrated your body and taken your soul as his eternal treat.

    The doctor is speaking to you – “It’s just blueberries,” she says – but you don’t hear it. You’re somewhere else entirely.

    You know your time in hell awaits.

    Poop
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Steve

    Steve is an editor for Robot Butt.

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