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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      How Smoking Your Cigarette Shows If You’re Evil

      April 3, 2026

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      RE: My Upcoming Concert at Your Starbucks. 

      September 6, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      How Smoking Your Cigarette Shows If You’re Evil

      April 3, 2026

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Alarm Clocks

      February 4, 2026

      Happy Holidays! Here’s A Cartoon About Christmas Trees

      December 25, 2025

      The Riddles Of Dragon Hollow: An Ultra-Short Pulp Fantasy Parody

      September 20, 2025

      Tis Time For More Advice From The Advice Imp!

      September 10, 2025

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026

      THE THREE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

      January 23, 2026

      Beckett versus Beckett

      October 4, 2025

      I Am a Business Person, and so are you

      September 27, 2025
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Scientists Discover Trending Chimpanzee Fashion Statement: Sticking Grass In Their Ears And Backsides

      February 27, 2026

      Report: 80% Of People Looking At Their Phones On The Train Are Watching Porn 

      January 25, 2026

      Eat More Maggots And Unleash Your Inner Neanderthal

      January 22, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      Overheard in My Honda

      April 13, 2026

      Keep Phoning It In!

      April 12, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Woman Pretending to Like Sports to Sleep With Man Asks Him Which Soccer Teams Played in the Super Bowl

      February 21, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      LIFEHACK: When Your Dad Texts You About Not Understanding The Bad Bunny Halftime Show, Reuse Your Responses From The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show

      February 8, 2026

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      Seconds Before Competing At The Highest Level, Entire World Comes Together To Boo J.D. Vance

      February 6, 2026

      HEARTBREAKING: Middle Schooler With Mad Libs Book Out Of Bad Words

      January 26, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      Overheard in My Honda

      April 13, 2026

      Keep Phoning It In!

      April 12, 2026

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      Overheard in My Honda

      April 13, 2026

      Keep Phoning It In!

      April 12, 2026

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      Overheard in My Honda

      April 13, 2026

      Keep Phoning It In!

      April 12, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Staff Posts

    Robot Butt is Doing a Live Show Friday, May 24th at 10:00PM at the Bughouse Theater in Chicago!

    By The Robot Butt StaffMay 20, 2024

    Buy tickets here!

    Life

    There Better Not Be Any ‘Social Justice’ or ‘Equality’ Nonsense When I Get to Heaven

    By Peter Clark-DeutschMay 19, 2024

    Let me tell you, if there’s anything I’ve gathered from my sixteen hours a day I spend on Facebook, Twitter,…

    Football

    Congratulations, Class of 2024 – Now Go Out Into This World and Be Very Insecure About Your Penis

    By Chris BrotzmanMay 18, 2024

    Class of 2024, I want to congratulate you all.  I want to congratulate the men in this room for having…

    Life

    Dad-Knows-All; A Fatherly Advice Column

    By Rebecca SilverMay 17, 2024

    Dear Dad-Knows-All, I’m worried about my daughter; I think she’s lonely. The other day I saw her cuddling her dog…

    Life

    Can Someone Help Me Get This Weird Paperclip Mascot Off My Screen?

    By Walt BraleyMay 13, 2024

    HELP! I didn’t want to have to post here, because I hate using forums when I feel like there must…

    Entertainment

    Inside Hollywood’s Wildest Subway Creations: The 8 Strangest Celebrity Orders from a LA Sandwich Artist

    By Reise Kitts and Walt BraleyMay 11, 2024

    I’m the sole sandwich artist at a Hollywood Subway Sandwich Shop. Everyday, stars trust me with their dining experience. Here…

    History

    Athenian General Myronides Post Battle Press Conference After the Loss to the Spartan Army and its Peloponnesian Allies at the Battle of Tanagra.

    By Alex ScampaMay 10, 2024

    “Good evening, general. Pelagia from The Mycenaean Herald. What do you think went wrong tonight?” “Good evening. First of all,…

    Sports

    Blueblood University’s Rousing Comeback Fueled by In-Game Transfer

    By Ken HogartyMay 9, 2024

    Hope You Bet the Money-Line on the Mercenaries Blueblood University newcomer F. M. “Follow the Money” Freebooter led the Mercenaries…

    Life

    Top 10 Apps to Use While At A Party

    By Kenny ReillyMay 8, 2024

    Outlook, your work email app. Get a head start on the upcoming workweek. If someone peaks over and catches you…

    Entertainment

    I Was the Intern Who Accidentally CC’d the Rebels the Plans to the Death Star

    By Chris BrotzmanMay 8, 2024

    Mom, Dad, Welp, I guess I’m fired. Thanks a lot, Luke Skywalker. That battlestation was fully operational! And just like…

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