Oh, but we’re not going to show you what it is. It’s far too disturbing. It would rock you to your core and make you reconsider everything you’ve ever known. If you were to see what this mother does next, you wouldn’t be able to continue your life without thinking of it. It would consume you and, ultimately, destroy you. But trust us, it’s bad.
Author: The Robot Butt Staff
The Robot Butt Staff
We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.
Fluffy has seen how withholding her owner can be as a sexual partner, and now knows better than to trust him. No matter how hard he tries to move past it, Scooter will be forever haunted by his refusal to get off the twin bed while his owners had intercourse on it. “I know now that nothing will ever cleanse me.” It’s especially hard for Sunny to enjoy his owner’s pets after watching her debase herself and “beg for a treat” like a common mutt. Eddie’s perspective of the world and respect for his owner was shattered when…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqFnh9-FRoc Ben Carson has recently come under fire after a video surfaced of him declaring that the Egyptian pyramids were built by Joseph to store grain. And with more scrutiny being placed on the Republican frontrunner, we were able to uncover some more of his unconventional thoughts. Here are 19 other things Ben Carson believes: The Statue of Liberty was built by the Israelites to scare away Satan’s giant crows. He only ingests food through his nose, believing his teeth have a higher purpose. He believes that if he just speaks softly enough, America will trust that what he’s saying is…
The NBA has finally returned, and all of your favorite stars – from Donatas Motiejunas and Hollis Thompson to Gary Harris and Dewayne Dedmon – are back for another great season! Part of the exhilarating fun of following sports is making predictions at the start of a season and looking back on what you got right and wrong. We’ve already done this with the current NFL season (most of our predictions have already come true), and now we’re ready for the new NBA year. We’re not holding back, either; these are some bold-ass predictions. Sure, we could all predict that…
From new research exposing the severity of concussions in the game to a constantly revolving door of rule changes, the NFL as we know it might look very different down the road. With that in mind, here are some predictions of what professional football might look like ten years from now: Seeing as how increased fines failed to curb the plague of touchdown celebrations, the punishment will now be Roger Goodell’s choice among an array of medieval torture methods. Concussions will be rebranded to “funcussions.” With helmet technology reaching its apex but brain injuries continuing, the NFL looks elsewhere and uses pumpkins…
Great news, gamers and nostalgia enthusiasts: Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 is finally out! You’ll have hours of fun playing the latest installment in the series you originally loved as a kid, when you’d stay up all night beating every level with Funyuns-stained fingers, hopped up on Mountain Dew and unaware of life’s many eventual crushing disappointments. Best of all, though, is that THPS 5 is loaded with hidden features! So while you revisit your awesome childhood, be sure to unlock these 12 awesome levels, characters and game modes: In the style of increasingly realistic graphics and gameplay of the Call of Duty series, THPS…
These breadsticks are looking pretty lubed up. Nice and slick, perfect for sliding into your mouth with no resistance. There we go, that’s the good stuff. So close you can practically taste it. So close it’s taking everything in your power not to lock the doors, close the curtains and set aside a four-hour block of private time between you and these throbbing rods of baked bread. Holy shit, that’s nice. Are you sure you should be looking at this while at work? Your boss could come over any minute and see this. Fuck it. That makes it even…
New York Yankees legend Yogi Berra recently passed away at the age of 90, and he left behind a gigantic legacy in the game of baseball and beyond. While he was certainly known for his exploits on the field, Berra might have been even more famous for his paradoxical and whimsical quotes about the game and life in general. By now, everyone knows his classic quotes, but he had so many others that haven’t got their rightful day in the sun. We’re here to change that! Here are 15 lesser-known Yogi Berra quotes that you’re sure to love: 1) No…
From Animal House to Old School, there have been so many great college movies throughout the years. But for every zany college film that hits the zeitgeist, there have been dozens of others that have fallen through the cracks. So as we all settle into a new school year, let’s remember some of the best obscure college movies you still need to see, including: Godzilla vs. MIT Ralph: The Animated Adventure of a Frat Brother’s Vomit Gradpocalypse Now National Lampoon’s Fuck It, Another College Movie Dean Schindler’s List Air Bud: Hair of the Dog Indiana Jones and the Eternal Stack of Ungraded Papers…
A brand-new season of exciting NFL football is here! Well, you’ll find the exciting football action after the thousands of hours of commercials. And after all of the standing around between plays. And, of course, after the millions of hours of replay reviews. But after all of that, you’re going to experience MINUTES of extreme football excitement all the way until February! So to get you sufficiently pumped up to lose all of your Sundays for the rest of the year, here are 27 surefire predictions for the 2015 NFL season: Tom Brady’s early return sets Q4 sales records in UGG…