ATTORNEY GENERAL DAVID BLAINE: Mr. President, distinguished guests, people of the United States of America– good morning. First, I’d like to apologize for being woefully underdressed. I received notification that this would be occurring about six hours ago, and was barely able to get to DC in time, let alone get fitted for a suit. I may be able to hold my breath for 17 minutes, but not even I can get an appointment at Paolo Martorano in less than 24 hours! [uncomfortable laughter] Um. Okay. I’m sure a lot of you are wondering why I, David Blaine, Street Magician,…
Author: Elsie Grant
Elsie Grant
Elsie is a humor writer who lives in San Diego. Read her weird stuff at elsiegrantwrites.com or follow her on Medium!