These questions used to have obvious answers.
Is the Pope Catholic?
Not enough for Catholic Cultural Warrior SCOTUS judges and Trump Cabinet appointees
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Not Putin’s Russian bear, which instead shits all over Trump and his Ukraine peace deals
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
Not Pope Francis, who instead shat all over J.D. Vance’s faulty immigration theology
Are all polar bears white?
Not as white as the America much of the MAGA movement would like it to be
Does melting ice become water?
Not as fast as when science disregarders ignore climate change
Do people sit on chairs?
Not if tariffs price IKEA and other imported chairs beyond their budgets
Do a fat man’s thighs chafe when he walks?
Not if he’s a paragon of fitness as President South Park claims to be
Does a chicken have lips?
Not unless Trump’s Press Secretary, whose lips the President gushes over leeringly, is a chicken
Is the sky blue?
Usually, but if red sky in the morning’s a sailor’s warning, MAGA-red revenge warns of tyranny
Does a one-legged duck swim in a circle?
Yes, just like members of congress who can only duck and backtrack in circles when bullied
Does the moon revolve around the earth?
Yes, but that might change with Trump’s plans to activate nuclear reactors on the moon by 2030
Does the sun set in the west?
Yes, but Trump’s disdain for the West Coast might induce a rant to doubt one more scientific fact
Does a snake have knees?
No, but human snakes who kneel and grovel before the Snake-Oil-Salesman-in-Chief do
Is the hypotenuse the longest side of a triangle?
Yes, unless the triangle involved Trump and Epstein with a tiny victim
Is Kermit’s butt watertight?
Hopefully yes, when he finds out PBS and other cultural treasures are getting Trumped out
Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?
Don’t know, but ask the Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief about Horseface and Miss Universe contestants
Does the Tin Man have a sheet metal heart, if he has any at all?
Probably yes, but then so do Trump’s ICE-men and his Muskrat before them
Does 1+1=2?
It’s 10 in binary [computer] math, and Trump and his Education Secretary, who thought AI is a steak sauce, still abhor anything non-binary
Do Fishes Swim?
Yes, and with Trump’s Mafia-like edicts and Proud Boy Brownshirts, democracy might soon be “swimming with the fishies.”
Does a hobby horse have a hickory penis?
No, but a DICK-tator likely has a small penis that drives him to macho overcompensation
