Welcome to The Office Pop-Up Bar Experience! You’re going to think that you just walked into Dunder Mifflin, if Dunder Mifflin was a sports bar gussied up with one singular, bent cardboard cutout of Steve Carrell I found in a dumpster. God, he was great in Trains, Planes and Automobiles.
Come check out our expensive, I mean, expansive drink menu! It’s all your favorite drinks not included in the $58.99 entry price, reinvented by being more watered-down and overpriced, all with names with nods to The Office! Feeling freaky? Order the “That’s What She Said!”, a special unchanged twist on our vodka soda. Feeling nostalgic? Order “Pretzel Day,” a margarita with bottom-shelf tequila and a count of four grains of salt on the rim. Feel like forking out more dough than you budgeted for? Order refreshing tap water at the bar for $5 a pop.
It wouldn’t be an experience without VIP. We put together some amazing package deals that whoever played that accountant on the show would be proud of. Was that the gay one? Enjoy the Dunder Double Trouble for an extra $50 to sit and enjoy your watered down cocktail at a replica of a desk from the TV show with real staplers and paper. Luckily we share a building with a business who still haven’t quite been able to force RTO, so we dragged them over here!
Diehards will get a limited-edition World’s Best Boss mug. So limited, that you can’t take it home because we only have one. Don’t forget to come hungry. VIPs get access to the vending machine we share with the law firm upstairs and purchase their own stale trail mix.
Join the long line wrapped around the bar and blocking the bathrooms to get a special photo op with our very own, Michael and Scott–our barhands! Two for the price of one.
You hear that iconic piano composed by Jay Ferguson and performed by the band The Scrantones per the AI overview I read 15 minutes before the bar opening? Real The Office nerds will recognize that. Have fun listening to that on loop for the next 90, whoops, now 89 minutes, because we will be swiftly kicking you out the very minute your window ends.
But, not everyone that comes here is a gullible loser. There’s going to be a few lucky winners crowned at our official Costume Contest. Come dressed in your best “Office Worker” costume you got at Spirit Halloween just like your favorite characters. It will be just like that episode where they worked! Winners will be decided by two factors: whoever claps loudest over the deafening sound of the theme song and who I want to sleep with that night. Not everything is a contest though. There’s plenty of fun activities like waiting in line for your first drink and if you really want to have fun, wait in line some more for your second drink.
But most importantly, here at The Office Pop-Up Experience, we’re all about community. We take pride in bringing like-minded people with a really unique sense of humor and horrible financial planning together. Hey, maybe you’ll even find the “Jim” to your “Pam”! Did those two ever get together? Never got around to finding out, I was too busy getting laid with the last costume contest winner from our Bob’s Burger Pop-Up Bar Experience. Hell, no one is stopping you from banging every patron at this bar. Be polyamorous for all I care, that’s more pricey drinks you have to pay for all your boyfriends and girlfriends.
Heads up, The Office Pop-Up experience will only be open until I make enough money. Then, we’re going to tear down a couple of the posters and change the names and make it a Friends bar. Or a Parks and Recreation bar? Whichever people with disposable income and a high sense of nostalgia are liking these days.
