I am concerned. I have heard rumblings of discontent from the kitchen table to the playroom. I would personally take a few moments to express my agreement with the 8 p.m. bedtime enforced by the parents of our little… society. Let me be the first to offer my full support to Mother and Father. When have they steered us wrong? Remember, friends, the steamed broccoli that so many of us were quick to dismiss as “yucky” only to be urged on by our brave guardians to, “Just try it! You’ll like it!” and oh, how right they were. Was this not so much more satisfying than the sugary junk we had requested? Let us not forget as well, this stimulating addition, the institution of School. Let us busy ourselves elsewhere, such that the burden of recreation falls upon the shoulders of those wise enough to use it. What a welcome distraction from our endless days of play.
The Bedtime is a time-honored tradition. Are there any among us here who can recall its inception? This is a pillar to be preserved at all costs. Traditions should be respected, if only for the sake of tradition itself. Any introduction of new ideas serves only to disrupt the peace so dearly established. I hear calls from my brothers: “Zack from down the street says his parents let him stay up until 9:30!” To this point, I echo Mother’s words: “Do we live in Zack’s house?” Why then should the reckless freedoms awarded to those so far away have any bearing on us? Simply because it has successfully been implemented elsewhere surely does not mean it can or should be attempted here.
Grumpiness accompanying the following morn is the most common, and fair, reasoning for the application of The Bedtime. How could another episode of SpongeBob, a few more fleeting moments with our Star Wars action figures bring us anything but future weariness and discomfort? And why should they heed our promises that we will rise, without protest or complaint, with plenty of time remaining for the brushing of the teeth and the making of the beds? We surely have proven unworthy of this faith in the past, although I cannot seem to recall when. They say it is true, however, and so it must be. And why not? Who knows our bodies better than those appointed to govern us?
I implore you, brothers, do not protest against The Bedtime. It is present only for our benefit. Even if it were not so, what power does the individual hold against the might of Mother and Father? Some, a foolish few, may say that we must resist. What laughable folly. And why? Mother and Father surely would not be pleased to find us fighting off the call of unconsciousness. Lying awake, no matter how weary, never collapsing under the immense weight of our descending eyelids. Perhaps reading, perhaps writing, perhaps simply exercising our autonomy over the oppressive scourge of tyrannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnbvcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
