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    Home»All Content»The Hub»Articles»Politics»How We Can Fix Everything With the Power of Compromise
    Politics

    How We Can Fix Everything With the Power of Compromise

    Danny RathbunBy Danny RathbunAugust 18, 2020Updated:August 18, 2020No Comments3 Mins Read
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    Two men shaking hands

    This country is more divided today than it’s ever been; it seems like no one can agree on anything anymore. Every time I turn on the news or get on social media, it seems like everyone is arguing, no one will give in, and nothing ever gets resolved. That’s why we need to learn about a little something called compromise!

    We can’t all get everything we want all the time, but by finding a middle ground between the two extremes, everyone can get part of what they want. 

    Let’s take a look at a couple of controversial topics to see how compromise can solve them!

    Problem 1: Poverty

    The left believes we should give food stamps to the poor and less fortunate, whereas the right believes it would be more useful to give tax cuts to the wealthiest citizens.

    Compromise: Give food stamps to the wealthiest 1%. Is it a perfect solution? No, of course not, and there will be critics of this solution on both sides of the political spectrum. But both sides get a part of what they’re asking for, which is the essence of compromise.

    Problem 2: Re-opening Businesses in the Age of COVID

    Doctors and scientists say that it’s far too early to consider re-opening businesses, and that this could lead to a second, far more deadly wave of the coronavirus. On the other hand, a guy I bought weed from in high school believes the virus is made up, and the quarantine is just a way for the government to keep us under control.

    Compromise: Everyone is allowed outside, but they have to wear tracking collars at all times. That way, we’re free to go where we please AND the government can monitor everything we do! 

    Starting to get the idea? Nobody gets everything they’re looking for, but by meeting in the middle we can reach a solution that allows both sides to get part of what they want.

    And compromise isn’t just for politics! You can use the power of compromise to resolve all sorts of personal disputes as well! 

    Problem 3: My Marriage

    My wife wants a divorce, but I want to stay married.

    Compromise: I’m still married to my wife, but she’s no longer married to me.

    See how that works? Now I don’t have to be alone, but Judy doesn’t have to “spend her life chained to an impotent manchild.” Compromise!

    We can even use this technique to solve problems with more than two opposing views!

    Problem 4: The Pyramids

    Religious people say that the pyramids were built by Jewish slaves, but most historians say that there is no extra-Biblical evidence the Jews were ever enslaved in Egypt, and the pyramids were most likely built by Egyptians. A fringe minority of “experts” believe they were actually constructed by aliens.

    Compromise: The Egyptians enslaved Jewish aliens, and forced them to build pyramids.

    If we all buy in on this worldview, there’s no more dispute, and we all win! Just accept that the Egyptians chained up a bunch of interplanetary visitors with yarmulkes and whipped them mercilessly as they dragged multi-ton stone blocks, and there’s no more need for conflict!

    Through the power of compromise, we can all get a piece of what we want and, more importantly, stop fighting. As Socrates said, “the correct answer is usually between the two extremes.” Or was that my Uncle Jerry? Let’s just say it was Mark Twain. 

    Danny Rathbun
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    Danny Rathbun

    Danny Rathbun is a New York-based, nationally touring standup comedian. He has performed at clubs and festivals all around the country, including the Burbank Comedy Festival in California, the Charm City Comedy Festival in Baltimore, and many others. He is the star of the horror/comedy film ‘Super Special,' has opened for Jim Gaffigan, and is a regular at Broadway Comedy Club, New York Comedy Club, and Stand Up New York. He is also the writer, director, and one of the stars of the web series 'Unpaid Spot.' Danny is known for his intelligent, biting but clean comedy, and makes audiences laugh at everything from board games to philosophy. He is also the host of Na na na na na na na na Podcast!, which chronicles his gradual descent into madness as he tries to watch every Batman movie ever made, from 1943 to the present.

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