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    Home»All Content»Uncanny Valley»Staff Posts»18 of Superman’s Lesser-Known Powers
    Staff Posts

    18 of Superman’s Lesser-Known Powers

    The Robot Butt StaffBy The Robot Butt StaffMarch 23, 2016Updated:March 13, 2019No Comments4 Mins Read
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    Superman Vision
    “Nice undies, Lois!”

    Everyone knows about Superman’s core powers, but the big guy has been around for 78 years, so naturally he’s picked up plenty of other lesser-known superpowers along the way. There are a ton of powers to keep track of, so here are 18 of our favorite Superman powers that have been way underutilized:

    • In Action Comics #343, Superman was briefly endowed with Super Feminism, which allowed him to round up all men perpetuating the male gaze and imprison them on a planet on the edge of the solar system.
    • Superman has had to dial back his super smell throughout the years, as he started throwing up anytime he got within 500 miles of a dog park and smelled all the excrement.
    • Super branding, which causes his emblem to be loved worldwide, to the point where people who have never read a single Superman comic will wear his logo on their shirts or tattoo it on their bodies.
    • Due to his impressive physiology, Superman possesses useful traits like Super Earwax Buildup, Super Nose Hair and Super Sweat Glands, all of which work well to ensure people keep their distance from Clark Kent.
    • Superman’s Super Object Permanence makes it impossible for him to get any enjoyment out of magic shows.
    • In a cancelled one-off comic created in the late seventies, Superman became hooked on an unnamed substance and had to take some time off to get his head straight. Turns out the substance was actually powdered kryptonite. Superman’s out-of-control habit caused him to finally achieve Super Sobriety; no man-made substance can effect him now.
    • Superman has the power to be super tolerant to solicitors. He handles them with great dignity and respect so that even if he doesn’t buy anything (and he rarely does because he’s also super cheap), they feel like it was a great interaction.
    • Action Comics #123: Superman’s super ability to keep his cupboard in order helped him find his pinto beans in a single look, allowing him to pull of a very successful potluck dinner in a very tight time frame.
    • Superman can flawlessly adjust his junk in public without anyone noticing.
    • Lois Lane and Clark Kent have made numerous, incident-free trips to IKEA, thanks to every Kryptonian’s enhanced ability to withstand severe mental punishment.
    • Action Comics #292: Superman’s ability to divvy out exact portions of cake aided him in thwarting the aggressive children at his coworker’s kid’s birthday party.
    • In the latest issue of Action Comics, Superman reveals his super ability to stealthily cancel weekend plans with friends at the last minute without offending anyone, allowing him to take off his tights, snuggle up on the couch under his cape, and watch Daredevil on Netflix.
    • Although he’s never been complimented on it, as Clark Kent his tie always rests with the tip just below the top of his belt with a smooth dimple near the knot. Superman’s Super Style gives him a perfect blend of the full Windsor and half-Windsor tying methods and always matches perfectly with his shirt collar width – every time on the first try.
    • When out to dinner with the rest of the Justice League, Superman can split the bill like that, tax and tip included.
    • Earth’s powerful yelllow sun allows Superman to do his own taxes without TurboTax or an accountant.
    • Superman briefly acquired the power of Super Restraint, allowing him to notice a typo in a published article online and not call out the author for being stupid. It ultimately proved too noble and difficult, even for Superman.
    • Action Comics #458: Superman’s super ability to figure out that he was served decaf coffee and not regular coffee enables him to confront the barista. The barista promptly brewed a fresh pot of regular coffee and gave him a cup on the house.
    • In an attempt to make him more relatable, Superman was briefly given the ability of Super Indecisiveness. No matter what the situation was, Superman became unable to determine which of his numerous superpowers would be best in order to handle the task at hand. The most prominent example of this ability was in Action Comics #752, when Superman let an orphanage burn down as he debated internally the best approach to take.

     

     

    action comics clark kent clark kent powers Superman superman lesser known powers superman powers supermans best powers supermans powers superpowers
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    The Robot Butt Staff

    We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.

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