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      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026

      TOP-GROSSING ROCK REUNION TOURS THIS SUMMER

      August 24, 2026

      20 Genre-Bending College Rock Bands To Try Out After They Exist

      July 26, 2026

      FUN & HARMLESS WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOUR BLUES MUSICIAN BFF

      May 12, 2026

      EVERY LEGAL CHARGE BY HIS MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT AGAINST “THE ANDREW FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE”

      May 4, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
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      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      A Cartoon About A Prawn

      June 13, 2026

      Two Cartoons About Apples

      June 11, 2026

      A Cartoon About Pocket Notebooks

      May 31, 2026

      Steel Toe Tommy

      September 21, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      PAPPY’S ICED TEA

      June 21, 2026

      This End Up

      June 7, 2026
    • History

      An Oral History Of The Heimlich Maneuver

      September 18, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      Alexander The Great Solves The Gordian Knot

      August 3, 2026

      Clarifications From Count Dracula

      August 2, 2026

      America’s 250th Anniversary – State Motto Update

      July 27, 2026
    • Life
      1. Science
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      Modern Hail Sizes for a Golf Ball Illiterate Nation

      October 11, 2026

      SpaceX to Launch One Trillion Dollars to the Sun

      September 12, 2026

      Sociologist Who Lost 23 Pairs of Glasses Finally Cracks Mosh Pit Code

      September 11, 2026

      2026 Virtual National Labor Day Picnic Celebration: AI Agents And Assistants Only; Humans Not Invited

      September 7, 2026

      I Have Become A Haiku Master

      July 5, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      Press Conference Regarding the Adult Male Hiding From Trick-or-Treaters

      October 28, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Tooth Fairy

      October 27, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
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      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      PLEASE STOP BETTING ON MY IMPROV SHOWS ON KALSHI!

      August 11, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Mr. Go (2013)

      August 4, 2026

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      DAT ASS Is Going To Revolutionize—And Democratize—Professional Sports As We Know It

      July 11, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
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      Beyond Gulf and Lake of America, Hey! Plans To Name And Rename Bodies Of Water

      September 9, 2026

      Next Minions Movie Announced: Minions & Speech Therapists 

      September 2, 2026

      Iran Gains Control Of Reflecting Pool

      August 31, 2026

      Mindfulness App Achieves Sentience: Immediately Develops Anxiety

      August 23, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Press Conference Regarding the Adult Male Hiding From Trick-or-Treaters

      October 28, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Tooth Fairy

      October 27, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Press Conference Regarding the Adult Male Hiding From Trick-or-Treaters

      October 28, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Tooth Fairy

      October 27, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Press Conference Regarding the Adult Male Hiding From Trick-or-Treaters

      October 28, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Tooth Fairy

      October 27, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Life

    I’m a Motherfucking Splinter and I Own You

    By Josh SippieMarch 17, 2018

    You feel the dread, don’t you? The doubt over your continued survival? You’re thinking of all the exotic diseases you…

    Life

    Beyond Virtual Reality: A Special Offer for the Really, Really Adventurous Astral Traveler

    By C.E. ShueMarch 17, 2018

    You’ve probably heard that virtual reality is all the rage these days, but did you know that before VR, there…

    Breaking News

    Intrepid Man’s Attempt at Self-Confidence Ends After 48th Second

    By Robot Butt News Corp.March 16, 2018

    EAST LANSING, Mich. – Local resident Travis Thistlethwait’s bold foray into the world of self-confidence ended today after a record-breaking forty-eight…

    Breaking News

    Toys ‘R’ Us to Liquidate All of Its Remaining Kids

    By Robot Butt News Corp.March 15, 2018

    WAYNE, N.J. – Citing industry changes and its ongoing debt, representatives from Toys “R” Us announced Wednesday their plan to…

    Sports

    How to Repay Your Employer for Wasted Productivity During the NCAA Tournament

    By Chris BrotzmanMarch 15, 2018

    Recent studies have found that, due to employees streaming games on their phones and laptops, employers lose between $2.3 and $4…

    Breaking News

    Actress Reports Tom Hanks Touched Her With Recent Performance

    By Robot Butt News Corp.March 14, 2018

    LOS ANGELES – More shocking news continues to rattle Hollywood this week, as beloved actor Tom Hanks has been accused of…

    Articles

    Come at Me, Bro, I’m a Motherfucking Squirrel

    By Vanessa ArmstrongMarch 13, 2018

    Hey you. Yeah you, you stupid fuck. You see any other mouth-breathing moron staring at his phone instead of the…

    Entertainment

    An Email From Your Mom, Who Finally Watched ‘Lady Bird’ and Has Some Questions

    By Victoria EdelMarch 13, 2018

    Hi honey! After the Oscars I finally watched that movie you said you liked, Lady Bird. The one you said,…

    Breaking News

    Local Woman Mortified to Realize Monster Under Bed Was There When She Farted

    By Robot Butt News Corp.March 12, 2018

    SAN ANTONIO, Texas – Local woman Jessica Wells, 30, was going about her normal Thursday routine, a successful day of holding…

    Politics

    An Abercrombie & Fitch Store Meeting to Brainstorm Ideas for What to Do With Shelf Space Previously Occupied by Assault Rifles

    By Dakota JamesMarch 12, 2018

    Claire, get off your phone. Claire, get off your phone. Claire, get off your phone. Thanks. Anyway, we have to…

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