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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
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      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      How Smoking Your Cigarette Shows If You’re Evil

      April 3, 2026

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      RE: My Upcoming Concert at Your Starbucks. 

      September 6, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      How Smoking Your Cigarette Shows If You’re Evil

      April 3, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Alarm Clocks

      February 4, 2026

      Happy Holidays! Here’s A Cartoon About Christmas Trees

      December 25, 2025

      The Riddles Of Dragon Hollow: An Ultra-Short Pulp Fantasy Parody

      September 20, 2025

      Tis Time For More Advice From The Advice Imp!

      September 10, 2025

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026

      THE THREE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

      January 23, 2026

      Beckett versus Beckett

      October 4, 2025
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Scientists Discover Trending Chimpanzee Fashion Statement: Sticking Grass In Their Ears And Backsides

      February 27, 2026

      Report: 80% Of People Looking At Their Phones On The Train Are Watching Porn 

      January 25, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Woman Pretending to Like Sports to Sleep With Man Asks Him Which Soccer Teams Played in the Super Bowl

      February 21, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      LIFEHACK: When Your Dad Texts You About Not Understanding The Bad Bunny Halftime Show, Reuse Your Responses From The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show

      February 8, 2026

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      Seconds Before Competing At The Highest Level, Entire World Comes Together To Boo J.D. Vance

      February 6, 2026

      HEARTBREAKING: Middle Schooler With Mad Libs Book Out Of Bad Words

      January 26, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Comics

    Maria Poppins Returns

    By Paul Lander and Dan McConnellFebruary 3, 2019

     

    Sports

    Only Tom Brady Can Stop Climate Change

    By Eric Wilson-EdgeFebruary 2, 2019

    Tom Brady is our only hope. I know this is true in the same way I know millions of people…

    Breaking News

    Bernie Sanders Announces He’s Running for His Life

    By Robot Butt News Corp.February 1, 2019

    WASHINGTON – Following the presidential bids declared by Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, and Cory Booker in recent weeks, Vermont Senator Bernie…

    Football

    The Super Bowl, as Explained by Someone Who Doesn’t Watch Football

    By Alanna WeissmanFebruary 1, 2019

    The football is a roundish object, or, as Wikipedia describes it, an “oblong spheroid.” Round balls suffice for most every…

    Life

    My Need to Live in a Place With All Four Seasons Is Completely Worth the Risk of Dying in This Polar Vortex

    By Kevin NyeJanuary 31, 2019

    You may be thinking to yourself, “Wow, this cold front, this ‘polar vortex’ is really crazy.” You may be thinking,…

    Life

    How to Have Fun During the Polar Vortex

    By Chris BrotzmanJanuary 31, 2019

    Unless you live under a glacier, you know the polar vortex is engulfing the Midwest in a record-setting deep freeze…

    Sports

    A Guide to Clean Heckling at Sporting Events

    By Rick BrownJanuary 31, 2019

    You, sir, are not very skilled. Unless you were trying to assist the other team, in which case, may I…

    History

    An Oral History of John and Yoko’s Bed-Ins for Peace by 11-Year-Old Me, My Friend Karen Finkelstein and Her Stupid Brother Jay

    By Joyce MillmanJanuary 30, 2019

    Me: Hi, it’s July 1969 and we’re here in Karen’s bedroom. We were supposed to go to the beach, but…

    Life

    Take My Kids, But Please, Leave Me My Instant Pot

    By Tara MilletteJanuary 29, 2019

    It’s 3 a.m. when I hear a loud thud downstairs. I gently, respectfully, tenderly, shove my husband out of bed…

    Staff Posts

    National Lampoon’s Why Won’t You Date Meeeeeeee?!

    By The Robot Butt StaffJanuary 28, 2019

    National Lampoon’s Why Won’t You Date Meeeeeeee?! (1983) Ronald Grinsley’s met the girl of his dreams. She’s got everything: breasts.…

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