In 2009, I was the toast of the Beta Theta Pi house at Duke University.
Everyone was saying, “Did you hear Brennan just got rid of his TV?”
“Does Brennan keep telling anyone else that he doesn’t watch TV anymore?”
“Have you noticed that Brennan turns every conversation into talking about how he no longer owns a TV?”
It’s been ten years since I last hit that power button on the remote and I wanted to inspire all the people who look up to me to formally declare themselves free of the cable bundle. I hold these truths to be self-evident, that not owning a TV makes me an intellectual and it does not make me a better person than anyone – it makes me better than everyone.
Getting rid of my TV was a key part to becoming the man I am today. People who have made the biggest impacts on our society did not own a TV. People like Mark Zuckerberg, Madonna, and Christopher Columbus. Since I stopped watching TV, I have been able to devote more time to catching up with friends and family by spending hours scrolling Facebook. It didn’t take many status updates to realize people who subscribed to cable in 2009 were idly letting their lives pass while they watched The Office.
These people would spend all day in an office and then come home and watch a show based on an office. The show had none of the elements that make storytelling powerful. There was no learning about a different way of life or being transported to a different era.
Today I’m part of a streaming revolution comprised of people who no longer subscribe to the cable bundle of our parents. Netflix is a time machine that lets me explore the world as it once was. The Crown, Derry Girls, and, now, The Office.
With the time I would have been watching TV, I’ve read more. I’m making my way through 101 Michael Scott Quotes for the College Graduate: Large Print Edition. And sure, a critic might point out it’s not a classic, but it is an insightful read that has big words. I’m able to watch content algorithmically tailored to me on YouTube. My favorites are TED Talks and 17 Times Meredith Was the Most Relatable Character on The Office.
I’m more knowledgable about the world now and keep up-to-date on current events via my iPhone. I just found out my Dwight Schrute bobblehead will arrive late because it was first shipped west from Gurney, Illinois to Des Moines, Iowa before being sent to New York. I pray we learn from this mistake and don’t let history repeat itself.
What I’m most thankful for after dropping cable, though, is my time to create my own art. I have my own podcast The Water Cooler and just had my three most successful episodes: “Making it Rainn: Live from Rainn Wilson’s Backyard”; “Ain’t No Restraining Order Restraining Enough: I Still Love You Rainn”; and the subsequent episode “Why My One Call Wasn’t to Toby.”
Today I am saddened by my lost friends still watching cable. Their updates about NBC’s The Good Place show how much they’re missing out. This misleading show is neither shot in nor about Scranton, Pennsylvania.
All of mankind should be free of the tyranny of cable and independent of their TV. There is another way to live. A free, independent, and cordless way, where The Office is not bound by the primitive constructs of scheduled time slots.
It’s a great life with the world’s greatest boss.
