1. Now that the collection agents are all dead, you’re off the hook for your student loans. 2. Traffic is, like, way down. 3. There’s plenty of time to stop and smell the roses. Just not the mutant, man-eating roses that sprang up everywhere after that accident at the genetic engineering lab. 4. Finally, it’s socially acceptable to wear bondage gear everywhere! 5. All your Disney collectible plates are sure to go up in value. They’re not making any more of them now, are they? 6. Human brains taste surprisingly good. 7. When your parents ask why you’re not working,…
Author: Steve Stampone
Steve Stampone
Steven Stampone is from Philadelphia, which means he can say "yo" with neither shame nor irony. His work has been featured in Funny Times.