Are you a budding entrepreneur looking for a memorable name for your new business? Are you a disgraced former CEO searching for a name for your next “can’t miss” business venture that you’ll eventually bankrupt? Are you looking for a name for the off-shore shell corporation that you’ll use to hide your ill-gotten gains? You’re in luck! The United States Department of Business Words has partnered with the scientists at Robot Butt to create the JargonTech-3000 Business Name Generator! How does it work? It’s easy as synergy! Pick one word from Groups One, Two, and Three below. Place them in…
Author: Maury Levine
Maury Levine
Maury is the author of the humorous mystery 'Shopping Bagged,' a contributor to the comedy websites The Broadway Beat, End of the Bench, The Spoof, Points in Case, and Little Old Lady Comedy, and had a riff used in an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. He is also a drummer, and lives in Birmingham, Alabama with his excellent family.
A local theatre group in Atlanta has made the “bold and artistically courageous'” decision to reimagine Rent as a nineteenth century opera. Fathom Montague, Executive Artistic Director of Peachtree Community Theatre Playhouse, explained, “Rent is a beloved jewel in the world of musical theatre. After thirty years, we thought that the jewel could use a little polishing.” “We’ve presented Rent here four times over the past seven years,” Montague continued. “Inexplicably, attendence has dropped with each subsequent staging. Clearly audiences love Rent, but the diminishing attendence tells me that they want to see it in a new iteration.” “As I…
Live Nation recently announced the Jelly Roll and Post Malone “We’re The Same Guy” Tour coming to stadiums across the country. Music fans responded to the announcement by Googling the singers to determine which one is which. Jelly Roll, or possibly Post Malone, said in a statement, “I’m excited for us to tour together. We have undeniable chemistry, and performing together will provide entertainment and special memories for fans of large, bearded, tattooed singers.” Post Malone, or possibly Jelly Roll, said in a statement, “I can’t wait to get out on the road. At each tour stop, we’ll go to…
CORTINA d’AMPEZZO, Italy – Lindsey Vonn has suffered a sprained ankle after crashing during a wheelchair race in the hospital. Vonn was hospitalized due to a crash she suffered during the Olympic downhill on February 8. Prior to that, she injured her knee in a crash during Olympic downhill preparations on January 30. “While the wheelchair race did not end in victory as I had hoped, racing down the hospital hallway with those five other patients was an incredible experience that I’ll never forget,” Vonn said. “I look forward to the rematch with my fellow patients soon. Except for Mr.…
These haiku will tell you everything you need to know about where you’ll now spend the majority of your life! Welcome to your jobYou’ll work here for a long time Until you’re burned out We have flex schedulesNights and weekends are required Flex for us not you Running late to work Call your supervisor so They can berate you Employee parking Is located down the street Next to the crack house Benefits offeredAre medical and dental But you can’t afford Casual Friday Wear fun groovy t-shirts withCompany logo Fourteen days a yearWe’ll give you for vacation Unless we’re busy We…
Paramount Skydance is launching a hostile takeover bid for Warner Brothers Discovery after it lost out to Netflix for control of the legendary movie studio and media company. Robot Butt News has obtained several exclusive quotes from Warner Brothers Discovery executives about the corporate battle. Warner Brothers Discovery Chairman of the Board Foghorn Leghorn said, “I say, boy, I say. Those Netflix folks are about as sharp as a bowling ball. Our grand studio is worth more than the measly seventy two billion they offered. I say, I say.” Warner’s Chief Marketing Officer Yosemite Sam commented, “What in tarnation is…
Sprit Halloween is expanding it’s new store, Spirit Christmas, to over 30 locations across the country beginning in December. According to Spirit CEO Peter Merchant, the company plans to build off the popularity of it’s pop-up Halloween stores. “Consumers love our hands-on Halloween stores where we turn unused retail backroom space into retail backroom space full of cheaply made costumes and decorations,” Merchant said. “We’re planning on bringing that same sketchy experience to Christmas shoppers.” Interactive Stores! Walking into a Spirit Christmas store, shoppers will be welcomed by The North Pole Rabid Reindeer Petting Zoo, where kids can touch Santa’s…
You know his face, but you probably don’t know his name. For forty seven years, Uncle Herschel ubiquitously sat next to the barrel in the Cracker Barrel logo. Out of the restaurant industry for two weeks, Herschel wants to clear the air about his puzzling, temporary departure. At his home in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, Hershel sits on his black leather couch wearing stylish blue jeans and a white button-up shirt. Sipping on a glass of sweet tea, the man who’s been at the center of a national controversy wants to address the rumors surrounding his tenure at Cracker Barrel. “The general…
The writers over at Jeopardy work so hard. They deserve a break, so we went ahead and came up with a bunch of wordplay categories they can use for the right price. And if they don’t bite, we’re ready to auction these off to any game show. Drew Carey? Elizabeth Banks? Rob Lowe? I know you read the site. make a bid. Seizure Salad Fall Out Oy! Family Lewd Very Super-Stitch-Us Gee, Sus Price! PB and Jay Z Time is Rumming Out! The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe Malfunction Edgar Allan Joe He Shoots, He Snores! Knock Knock Tokes …
SEATTLE, WA – When graffiti appeared on the front of a new building in the Chinatown-International District over the weekend, Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell called the painting “beautiful artwork created by inspiring graffiti artists.” The graffiti makers have disputed the mayor’s claim. “That’s bullshit. We ain’t none of that, yo,” a male calling himself Shanks responded. “We’re hardcore, yo. We just a couple of punk ass vandals.” Mayor Harrell said, “Since we started the One Seattle Graffiti Art Initiative in 2022, the City of Seattle has been proud to recognize deserving graffiti artists and their craft. If the mystery artists…