783: Over the Centerline (transcript)
A quick note: this episode includes graphic language that has not been bleeped.
Daniel Sobrass: Welcome to the show. Today we’re exploring themes of loss, discovery and redemption. In part two of this episode, reporter Emily Kinsey talks to Wilson the Volleyball, left behind by FedEx employee Chuck Noland decades ago in an uninhabited island in the South Pacific.
(VOICEOVER) Emily Kinsey: Belinda Vaughn is a single mom, fifty-four years old, and runs a busy nonprofit called Not Broken Forever.
(BACKGROUND NOISES: VOICES, A CHILD CRYING, SCRAPING OF FOOD FROM A DISH)
Belinda Vaughn: He came in, I don’t know, in 2010 maybe. (LONG PAUSE) Yeah, 2010, that’s right. (LAUGHTER) Just rolled right in here, probably one of the coldest nights of the year, that’s something that happens a lot…people who never wanna step foot in here otherwise get desperate enough to wander in. We don’t turn no one away.
(VOICEOVER) Emily Kinsey: You can tell just by looking around the space that Not Broken Forever is either the first stop or the last stop for many people who are on the brink of…something in their lives.
Belinda Vaughn: He said, and I remember this perfectly, he said “I been floating for a long time.” Now, listen, I hear this kinda thing often, but with this volleyball, it was straight up truth.
Emily Kinsey: How long did he stay here?
Belinda Vaughn:(LONG PAUSE): I think….about six months? Yeah, about six months or so.
Emily Kinsey: Not Broken Forever doesn’t have a maximum stay policy like other shelters do. Belinda says that’s not her goal, kicking people out. But she does have strict rules on guests pursuing steady employment and maintaining respectful relationships within the facility.
Belinda Vaughn: Wilson the Volleyball was the utmost best kinda guest we could see. Kept to himself. (LONG PAUSE). Maybe he kept to himself a little too much, come to think of it. I don’t think he had any real friends here. (LONG PAUSE). I always tell myself my priority is peace, but then I wonder…maybe I should be thinking more about helping them socialize, you know, learn how to interact?
(VOICEOVER) Emily Kinsey: Belinda looks somber, and it’s hard for her to continue the interview. My job as a journalist is not to judge, but I can tell this is something she’s considered over the years, and despite all that she has given to guests at Not Broken Forever, she still feels responsible for the people who stay there, even after their chapter at the shelter ends.
(SOLEMN BACKGROUND MUSIC: MUSIC FADES)
(BACKGROUND NOISES: CELL PHONE RINGING, SOUND OF A VOICE: “WE ONLY HAVE A BASIC SEDAN AVAILABLE ON THOSE DATES”, DOOR WITH A JINGLE ON THE KNOB OPENING)
(VOICEOVER) Emily Kinsey: Sturtz Rent-A-Car, Wilson The Volleyball’s first job after Not Broken Forever. What’s here? A modest desk with the company’s logo both in front of and behind it. A few chairs, lined against the walls. Worn out carpet. And in the back, a cramped office, the size of a small closet, a desk with a melange of paperwork and folders. An old-school black landline phone. This is where Wilson The Volleyball worked for seven years, as Assistant Manager.
Jordan Haberman: I promoted him pretty quick, being honest. He was a hard worker; started at the counter, then I put him on phones and then in sales, and for real, he was a baller. Made a lot of our whole store’s goals on his own. Barely talked to anyone, though. Kinda weird.
(VOICEOVER) Emily Kinsey: Jordan Haberman has been the manager of Sturtz Rent-A-Car Store 619 in Philadelphia for fifteen years, and he says Wilson the Volleyball was an ideal employee.
Jordan Haberman: One thing he wouldn’t do, though, is train other employees. And for sure, he was not close with anyone, almost like…distant on purpose, you know what I mean? Like, friends? No way, not with anyone. Matter of fact, I invited him to a barbeque at my place once, me and some other dudes, for some pot and beers, and Wilson the Volleyball got real weird just from the invite alone. Never forgot that. He never came to the party, needless to say. I think he left Strutz about six months after that.
(VOICEOVER) Emily Kinsey: Jordan’s not sure if that invite was part of Wilson the Volleyball’s decision to leave the company, but it happened shortly after. What I found out later was that he’d never report to another company again after Sturtz. He’d instead become his own boss, working in affiliate marketing. I wouldn’t find this out right away, though. I’d have to talk to about twelve people to track down Wilson the Volleyball. He wasn’t online, not on social media, no LinkedIn. After dozens of emails and calls through leads from Jordan and Belinda, I finally found him, living in a townhouse in Ardmore, a suburb of Philadelphia.
Wilson the Volleyball: I don’t usually have people over. I don’t really know how to….do you want something to drink?
Emily Kinsey: No, I’m fine thanks.
(VOICEOVER)
Emily Kinsey: Wilson the Volleyball’s home is sparse, a few printouts of the sea posted in the halls. There’s one large abstract portrait of an island in his main living room area. I ask Wilson about his current life, his last twenty-some-odd years on the mainland, and also – and I’m careful when I ask about this – about his last moments before Chuck Noland and he were separated in the water.
Wilson the Volleyball: Yeah, that’s not…that’s hard for me.
Emily Kinsey: Would you rather talk about how you got off the island?
Wilson the Volleyball: I mean, what’s there to say? I literally threw myself into the ocean and floated for years until I reached the mainland.
Emily Kinsey: But before that, did you think…did you think you’d leave?
Wilson the Volleyball: Of course not! (PAUSE). No, never. Not after Chuck….not after what happened with Chuck.
(VOICEOVER) Emily Kinsey: What happened with Chuck?
Wilson the Volleyball: Don’t you know? He just….abandoned me. Yeah, yeah, I know, it wasn’t his fault, he wanted me to go with him, he really tried. He yelled it, yeah, I get it, he said ‘I’m sorry, Wilson. Wilson, I’m sorry.’ He yelled it so many times…(SOUND OF WILSON THE VOLLEYBALL CRYING)…but then, like, he stopped. He gave up. He stopped trying to rescue me, and he just took care of himself.
(LONG PAUSE)
Emily Kinsey: Do you ever think he regretted it?
Wilson the Volleyball: Man, sorry, but do you know what I been through? Like…Chuck goes back to FedEx and Kelly and his whole life, and I’m there on that island with no one but…I don’t know if I shoulda stayed there. ‘Cause when I got to the mainland…..(WHISTLES OUT, COUGHS)…it was…well, talk about adjusting.
Emily Kinsey: What do you mean?
Wilson the Volleyball: My first week here, I never been here, you know what I mean? First week, I’m in some room-by-the-day housing somewhere, only place I can get with the measly line of credit I got until I end up at the halfway house. I’m living with these…lowlifes, right?
(VOICEOVER) Emily Kinsey: I don’t answer right away.
Wilson the Volleyball: I end up eating an onion soaked in meth. I didn’t know any better. Got so involved…I did some stuff I wished I hadn’t that night, but what did I know about drugs at that time? It’s an unfair playing field, right?
Emily Kinsey: So, then you found Belinda?
Wilson the Volleyball: Not before I found myself with a custody case involving a woman having no right pinky finger. (PAUSE). The kid wasn’t mine, by the way, DNA results came in during the trial and cut it short, but that really set me back.
Emily Kinsey: You mean, set back, in that you had something on your record?
Wilson the Volleyball: Yeah, my record, and not to mention, like, my energy was spent undoing these things before I got to start my life, you know? Like, I’m at the convenience store trying to get some fresh fruit with my food stamps, and this guy decides to set me up for his shoplifting gig. Puts his condoms and cigarettes in my windbreaker while I was checking out bananas and the next thing you know I’m getting roughed up by some Philadelphia PD. I was a target, you know what I’m saying? Bulls eye on my back.
Emily Kinsey: Do you blame Chuck for these things that happened to you?
Wilson the Volleyball: I mean, wouldn’t you?
(VOICEOVER) Emily Kinsey: At this point, I handed Wilson the Volleyball a picture of Kelly and Jerry. He started at it for a long time. I explained who Jerry was, that Kelly thought Chuck had died and so moved on with her life. That she had a daughter with Jerry now.
Wilson the Volleyball: What am I supposed to do? Feel bad about that? For real, though. I get it. It sucks that his lady moved on and life was tough for him when he got back. But, he got back, you know? He got there. He didn’t have to be alone, even after Kelly did that. He coulda had me there with him.
(LONG PAUSE)
(VOICEOVER)Emily Kinsey: The more I talked to Wilson the Volleyball, the more relentlessly he spoke about Chuck’s endless apologies in the middle of the sea, as they drifted apart. He wasn’t ready to accept anything Chuck said, all those “I’m-sorry-Wilson-Wilson-I’m sorries.” Would he ever be?
Daniel Sobrass: On part two of ‘Over the Centerline,’ Emily Kinsey takes Wilson the Volleyball to the intersection, the one where the redhead in the truck had stopped.
(VOICEOVER)Emily Kinsey: I describe to Wilson the Volleyball that the truck had wings on the bumper, and a dog in the bed….and that Chuck stood right there, with a road to choose.
Emily Kinsey:(BACKGROUND SOUND OF FEET SCUFFING AND DIRT CRUNCHING UNDER FOOTSTEPS): Does seeing where he was that day change anything? Are you surprised he would wind up here?
Wilson the Volleyball: (LAUGHS)
Emily Kinsey: Is that a hard thing to answer?
Wilson the Volleyball: I was floating in the ocean for years – literally years – and this fucker was standing the middle of a dirtroad? And me seeing this place, this road, where Chuck was basically a free man, are you wanting me to talk about absolution? How’s this absolution?
Emily Kinsey: (VOICEOVER): I think about what Wilson the Volleyball is saying, and I question why I brought him here. I try to put myself in his position, to understand everything he’s been through. Maybe Wilson the Volleyball is right. Should this trip to the intersection bring him absolution? I want to find out more about him, about Wilson, and what it would take to forgive Chuck. But…how?
Daniel Sobrass: That’s next week…in part two of our program.
