CHICAGO, IL – In a shocking move that experts are calling “wholly unnecessary,” a company with almost entirely work from home employees has sent out an email inviting everyone to a holiday party.
The party is being held minutes after a regular workday, at a bar employees have never seen right next to the office they went to once while training. Luckily, their department managers brought it up during weekly meetings in a passive aggressive way that made it seem like it wouldn’t reflect well on anyone who skips it.
The party is expected to feature on to two free drinks that feel weird to drink in front of the CFO, as well as small-talk with people who have never laid eyes on each other in the flesh. It is not expected to feature Alan, the funny personality hire who lives in fucking Denver.
