ALT TEXT: Photo of a human’s arm and torso shrugging, while standing next to giant bug
monster Mothra.
CAPTION: “So, what’s up with this Mothra account?” is what you’ve probably been asking.
We’ll start with the obvious: Oversized moth and monster queen Mothra is 10,000 years old,
meaning she predates Godzilla by millennia. Godzilla, that whippersnapper, only comes around
to fight our sweet moth goddess every other decade so DON’T SWEAT IT, COCOON-BABES!
Glorious Mothra travels with two fairies, who are both mouthpieces for her dictates as well as
her high priestesses, demonstrating for humans how to sing and move in Mothra’s honor
(Soundcloud dropping soon so you can learn to sing along—watch this space).
This week on Insta we’re going to post one reason every day to remind you: these priestess-
Thumbelinas want YOU! In our polarized political climate, we invite all women and vulnerable
people to sign up to worship this winged behemoth full-time. Come to our island, we have acai
bowls (and you know you love that papaya enzyme)!
A wise person once said, “Get in, loser, we’re quitting our lives to go join Mothra’s cult!” Here
are five reasons to hop aboard Mothra’s GIGANTIC FLOATING EGG in the ocean and start
chanting your wonder and awe.
The Beach
ALT TEXT: Panoramic image of a dozen human bodies wearing colorful sarongs, bowing to
worship an enormous moth at the beach on a sunny day. The sky is clear and ocean waves crash
against the shore in the background.
CAPTION: In Mothra’s entourage, we are #blessed to spend our lives outdoors 24/7 on a tropical
island of our very own. Remember Mothra vs. Godzilla? There’s a dragon fruit in every shot of
our civilization. Devotees of Mothra eat sweet, sticky fruit for each meal. Think of all the
micronutrients provided straight to your liver! Veneration of Mothra is the purest heavy metal detox you can find.
Environmental Degradation
ALT TEXT: Screenshot of New York City’s skyline leveled by giant beasts, from the historic
documentary, Destroy All Monsters.
CAPTION: Mothra has lived in peace with her human followers since the dawn of
civilization—until nuclear testing in international waters disturbed her eggs in 1968. Like the
ultimate #GirlBoss, Mothra responded by eliminating the nuclear capabilities of every human
civilization on Earth. No more nukes. Thank you, Mothra!
Remember yesterday’s post about all the #HealthBenefits of Mothra’s fresh fruit lifestyle? Today
we are diving into how Mothra and her worshippers spread pollen all over everything, bolstering
our ecosystem. That’s right, Mothra and her novitiates live in perfect symbiosis with the natural
world. Doesn’t that land just like nettle and elderberry on your soul??
Mothra vs Roe v Wade
Laura Eppinger
ALT TEXT: Members of the Church of Mothra smile while holding up IUDs next to Mothra’s
fuzzy antennae, to note the similarities in shape.
CAPTION: Here in Mothra’s warm embrace, all human healthcare needs are covered. Any
medical request related to reproductive care is granted. Mothra believes in hormones on demand
and abortion as standard healthcare! No questions asked.
Technically, your body, Mothra’s choice. But she just wants us all to be happy in our inferior
human shells.
Fascist Creep
ALT TEXT: Two human hands holding one another against the backdrop of a hairy, orange
Mothra wing.
CAPTION: Eroding of American democracy is depressing as hell! Mothra believes that
humans should not pay homage to any other human. You cannot put one of your own kind on a
pedestal; this only sows social division. A moth the size of a skyscraper, however, is worthy of
your veneration.
The essence of Mothra’s power is in her restraint. Even in her larva form, she can take down a
high-speed train. But she chooses NOT to. Trust in Mothra to earn your adoration!
Mothra Means Mindful Meditation
ALT TEXT: Humans standing arm-in-arm at the beach, eyes closed, singing at the base of the
dais where Mothra reclines.
CAPTION: COCOON-BABES rise every morning for the singular purpose of honoring our
Moth Mother. We find peace in simplicity and singular purpose.
Plus, we are all too high on Mothra’s pheromones to sleight each other or notice any differences
between our fragile, temporary, gross mammalian bodies. I see your legal, medical-grade THC
gummy worms and raise you one whiff of Mothra’s potent blend. You’ll never need to walk into
a cannabis dispensary again.
JOIN US!
We curate our brand as Mothra’s devotees because we believe in this vision: Prayer without
ceasing with our downy, insect kaiju. Shout out to all the adaptogens in tropical fruit for giving
us the energy to prostrate ourselves to Mothra from dawn till dusk every day!!!!!!!!
If you were a kid who cried every time a monster died or was defeated at the end of the movie,
Mothra is the choice for you. Trust your intuition, and follow Mothra to learn how to hack your
serotonin. Mothra is Queen. Mothra is bliss.
You know what to do: LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to this account because you always knew there
was something monstrous deep inside you. The small life you lead is fleeting. Mothra endures.
