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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      How Smoking Your Cigarette Shows If You’re Evil

      April 3, 2026

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      RE: My Upcoming Concert at Your Starbucks. 

      September 6, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      How Smoking Your Cigarette Shows If You’re Evil

      April 3, 2026

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Alarm Clocks

      February 4, 2026

      Happy Holidays! Here’s A Cartoon About Christmas Trees

      December 25, 2025

      The Riddles Of Dragon Hollow: An Ultra-Short Pulp Fantasy Parody

      September 20, 2025

      Tis Time For More Advice From The Advice Imp!

      September 10, 2025

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026

      THE THREE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

      January 23, 2026

      Beckett versus Beckett

      October 4, 2025

      I Am a Business Person, and so are you

      September 27, 2025
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Scientists Discover Trending Chimpanzee Fashion Statement: Sticking Grass In Their Ears And Backsides

      February 27, 2026

      Report: 80% Of People Looking At Their Phones On The Train Are Watching Porn 

      January 25, 2026

      Eat More Maggots And Unleash Your Inner Neanderthal

      January 22, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      Overheard in My Honda

      April 13, 2026

      Keep Phoning It In!

      April 12, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Woman Pretending to Like Sports to Sleep With Man Asks Him Which Soccer Teams Played in the Super Bowl

      February 21, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      LIFEHACK: When Your Dad Texts You About Not Understanding The Bad Bunny Halftime Show, Reuse Your Responses From The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show

      February 8, 2026

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      Seconds Before Competing At The Highest Level, Entire World Comes Together To Boo J.D. Vance

      February 6, 2026

      HEARTBREAKING: Middle Schooler With Mad Libs Book Out Of Bad Words

      January 26, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      Overheard in My Honda

      April 13, 2026

      Keep Phoning It In!

      April 12, 2026

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      Overheard in My Honda

      April 13, 2026

      Keep Phoning It In!

      April 12, 2026

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      Overheard in My Honda

      April 13, 2026

      Keep Phoning It In!

      April 12, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Life

    You Might Be Old If…

    By Jeff HydmanSeptember 30, 2024

    A lot of older people wonder whether they are ageing well, both physically and cognitively. As renowned experts in this…

    Breaking News

    New Study Shows Thirty Percent of Bat Boys in Major League Baseball Evolve Into Vampires

    By Maury LevineSeptember 29, 2024

    Contamination in a facility that manufactures baseball bats has led to some unusual medical side affects among Major League bat…

    Capitalism

    10 Ways Work-From-Home Phone Operators Can Multi-Task While On Calls

    By George BeckermanSeptember 28, 2024

    While multi-tasking as a masseuse – give massage client ear plugs to mute callers’ screams of “Representative!!” While taking a…

    Life

    Cover Letter for a Scientific Paper Demonstrating That Bed-Making Prevents Finding a Cure for Cancer

    By Fran J. DíazSeptember 27, 2024

    Attention: Physical Review Letters Editor Dear Editor, We are submitting our manuscript entitled “For Efficient Use of Daily Time: more…

    Politics

    Look, I Just Think People Who Own Lizards Are Weird

    By Chris BrotzmanSeptember 26, 2024

    Thanks for having me on the show, George. It’s great to be here. I’d like to start by saying I…

    Life

    Tipsy Tales from Behind the Bar: The Things I Wish You Didn’t Say

    By MackenzieSeptember 26, 2024

    Dear Bunkers and Brews Customers, I hope this message finds you well, I hope you’re enjoying your drinks chilled just…

    Breaking News

    Hours after Election Withdrawal, RFK Jr. Seen Bidding on Bane Mask at Hollywood Auction

    By CragsawSeptember 25, 2024

    HOLLYWOOD, CA – “If justice cannot be achieved within the system, our hero must rise from outside of it.” This…

    Politics

    Forthcoming Children’s Books by JD Vance

    By Marla DepewSeptember 24, 2024

    · Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Working Mom · Circle the Wagons and Load the Muskets: Baby’s First…

    Capitalism

    Frustrated Manager Puts Virtual Staff Meeting in a 5-Minute Mute Timeout

    By Tmo BradachSeptember 24, 2024

    Trish Baker, CEO of Baker Ltd., muted all 400 attendees at a mandatory, virtual-staff meeting on Friday. She first grew…

    Life

    Afraid Of Your Sleep Paralysis Demon? Why Don’t You Just Try Talking To Him?

    By Gillian TandaSeptember 23, 2024

    If you experience sleep paralysis, you’re likely familiar with its associated hallucinations. These include—but are not limited to—pressure on the…

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