Dear Jesús: Thank you for your letter. Due to hurricane-related postal delays, this reply may not reach you until January.…
1. Canadian Milk Style: Coke in a paper bag 2. Easy on the Pickles: 5,000 pickles, no bread 3. Fries NBA: Fries…
WASHINGTON – After announcing his resignation yesterday, Minnesota Senator Al Franken has reportedly purchased a home in Greenville, Alabama. “I like…
1. “Have fun at the inauguration today!” 2. [Just the song “Hammer Smashed Face,” played slightly sped up because of a…
DES MOINES, Iowa – Three months after being relegated to the freezer because it wasn’t consumed fast enough, a now rock-hard…
Dear Human, I am writing to notify you that I am resigning from my position as your fidget spinner, effective…
“We should have a contest as to which of the Networks, plus CNN and not including Fox, is the most…
Rex Tillerson is the 69th Secretary of State (nice), but it’s sure starting to feel like he won’t be for…
LONDON – The wait is over! Famed chocolatier and Warden of the 9th Interdimensional Rift Willy Wonka has at last selected…
WASHINGTON – Recently, Robot Butt was approached by an individual claiming that Republican Senate hopeful Roy Moore dated Heffalumps and Woozles…