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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      How Smoking Your Cigarette Shows If You’re Evil

      April 3, 2026

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      RE: My Upcoming Concert at Your Starbucks. 

      September 6, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      How Smoking Your Cigarette Shows If You’re Evil

      April 3, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Alarm Clocks

      February 4, 2026

      Happy Holidays! Here’s A Cartoon About Christmas Trees

      December 25, 2025

      The Riddles Of Dragon Hollow: An Ultra-Short Pulp Fantasy Parody

      September 20, 2025

      Tis Time For More Advice From The Advice Imp!

      September 10, 2025

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026

      THE THREE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

      January 23, 2026

      Beckett versus Beckett

      October 4, 2025
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Scientists Discover Trending Chimpanzee Fashion Statement: Sticking Grass In Their Ears And Backsides

      February 27, 2026

      Report: 80% Of People Looking At Their Phones On The Train Are Watching Porn 

      January 25, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Woman Pretending to Like Sports to Sleep With Man Asks Him Which Soccer Teams Played in the Super Bowl

      February 21, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      LIFEHACK: When Your Dad Texts You About Not Understanding The Bad Bunny Halftime Show, Reuse Your Responses From The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show

      February 8, 2026

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      Seconds Before Competing At The Highest Level, Entire World Comes Together To Boo J.D. Vance

      February 6, 2026

      HEARTBREAKING: Middle Schooler With Mad Libs Book Out Of Bad Words

      January 26, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Politics

    Exclusive: Recordings From Inside the Trump White House

    By Tim GaydosOctober 12, 2017

    Recently, reports started circulating that White House staffers are now afraid their colleagues might be wearing wires to record conversations…

    History

    5 Causes of the Civil War That Had Nothing to Do With Raiding General Lee’s Compound Before the Genetically Enhanced Super Soldiers Hatched From Their Eggs

    By Matt RotmanOctober 11, 2017

    History is not a zero-sum game. Understanding why things happen takes a deep knowledge of context and an appreciation for…

    Politics

    Why I’m Glad My Birth Control Won’t Be Covered By Health Insurance

    By Sarah duRivage-JacobsOctober 10, 2017

    1. The government shouldn’t have to be responsible for my mistakes. After all, women aren’t biologically programmed to enjoy recreational…

    Entertainment

    How the Audience Members of Megyn Kelly’s ‘Today Show’ Segment Got Here

    By Lucy HuberOctober 10, 2017

    Were told this was where you were supposed to wait for Rockettes tickets Left an NBC studio tour to use…

    Life

    Easy Ways to Get Your Steps in Any Day of the Week!

    By Kasadee AllanOctober 9, 2017

    While at work, walk to your coworker’s cubicle instead of emailing. That way the two of you can check to…

    Life

    11 Tips for Your Mid-Career Transition to YouTube Vlogging

    By Tom RussellOctober 8, 2017

    Whether you’ve been laid off after twenty years in advertising sales or finally want to be the “cool dad” just…

    Politics

    Mr. President, Bring Back the Chimney Sweeps

    By Boris PolonoffOctober 6, 2017

    Mr. President, you’ve made an awesome start toward bringing back coal mining jobs and making America great again. But what about…

    Breaking News

    Trump Becomes Stuck in Chocolate Pipe During Tour of Candy Factory

    By Robot Butt News Corp.October 5, 2017

    FRANKFORT, Ky. – During an announcement of a new tariff on foreign sugar imports at Sweet Tooth Candy Factory today, President…

    Breaking News

    Feminist Pretends to Understand Friend’s Burlesque Show

    By Robot Butt News Corp.October 4, 2017

    NEW YORK – Self-described feminist Lydia Pembroke attended a friend’s burlesque show Monday evening in a demonstration of sisterly solidarity, and…

    Life

    7 Fall Outfits to Make You Forget Bikini Season Ever Existed

    By Clay BeyersdorferOctober 3, 2017

    1. Your Dad’s Overstretched College Sweater Search the bottom of that box in the garage for your father’s old college…

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