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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      How Smoking Your Cigarette Shows If You’re Evil

      April 3, 2026

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      RE: My Upcoming Concert at Your Starbucks. 

      September 6, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Title: We’re Rebooting “The Three Commandments”

      April 15, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026

      How Smoking Your Cigarette Shows If You’re Evil

      April 3, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Alarm Clocks

      February 4, 2026

      Happy Holidays! Here’s A Cartoon About Christmas Trees

      December 25, 2025

      The Riddles Of Dragon Hollow: An Ultra-Short Pulp Fantasy Parody

      September 20, 2025

      Tis Time For More Advice From The Advice Imp!

      September 10, 2025

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026

      THE THREE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

      January 23, 2026

      Beckett versus Beckett

      October 4, 2025
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Scientists Discover Trending Chimpanzee Fashion Statement: Sticking Grass In Their Ears And Backsides

      February 27, 2026

      Report: 80% Of People Looking At Their Phones On The Train Are Watching Porn 

      January 25, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Welcome To Our TV Show Pop-Up Bar, Which Is Not a Scam

      April 14, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Woman Pretending to Like Sports to Sleep With Man Asks Him Which Soccer Teams Played in the Super Bowl

      February 21, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      LIFEHACK: When Your Dad Texts You About Not Understanding The Bad Bunny Halftime Show, Reuse Your Responses From The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show

      February 8, 2026

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      Seconds Before Competing At The Highest Level, Entire World Comes Together To Boo J.D. Vance

      February 6, 2026

      HEARTBREAKING: Middle Schooler With Mad Libs Book Out Of Bad Words

      January 26, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026

      Happy April Fools’ Day, Here’s My Actual Social Security Number

      April 1, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026

      Tourist Tips to Avoid Screaming, “I’m an American who plays Dungeons & Dragons”

      April 28, 2026

      I Dated Four AI Boyfriends So You Don’t Have To

      April 27, 2026

      Elephant in the Examination Room

      April 26, 2026

      Why I Finished Reading That Terrible Book

      April 25, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Entertainment

    Mirror Universe Mixtape Vol. 5: All Hallows’ Eve

    By David MoganOctober 30, 2017

    Welcome, Sound Cadets, to the other side of the wormhole. We’ve globe-trotted the multiverse looking for the finest deep-cut dark…

    Breaking News

    Trump to Hand Out 2016 Electoral Maps to Trick-or-Treaters

    By Robot Butt News Corp.October 27, 2017

    WASHINGTON – With Halloween drawing near, people across the country are preparing to celebrate. That includes the White House, where President…

    Life

    A Look at This Year’s FDA Halloween Candy Advisory

    By Kurt LuchsOctober 26, 2017

    The Food and Drug Administration has issued a Halloween Candy Advisory for the following sweets and snacks. Many are believed…

    Life

    I Briefly Skimmed the Contents of 24 Self-Help Books in 24 Hours Through the ‘Look Inside’ Feature on Amazon and Here’s What Happened

    By Ella AmesOctober 25, 2017

    I figured that the “Look Inside” feature on Amazon was a surefire way to basically sort all my shit out…

    Breaking News

    Aides Suggest Trump Sundowning, Daytiming, 24/7 Asshole

    By Robot Butt News Corp.October 24, 2017

    WASHINGTON – As speculation runs rampant over the mental well-being of the 45th president of the United States, those close to…

    Entertainment

    Nicki Minaj’s Friedrich Nietzsche Diss Track Is Brilliant

    By Casey SmithOctober 24, 2017

    “Without music, life would be a mistake” – Friedrich Nietzsche  Well, it looks like Mr. Nietzsche would have backpedaled on…

    Life

    All the Simple, Believable Reasons Why I, Unfortunately, Can’t Make It to Your Experimental Play Tonight

    By Jessica SalamoneOctober 23, 2017

    I ordered a sushi boat last night while I was drunk and I have to eat the leftovers tonight before…

    Entertainment

    Original Name for a Kenner Star Wars Action Figure or Alt-Right Insult?

    By Erik SternbergerOctober 23, 2017

    1) Prune Face 2) Brownshirt 3) Snowflake 4) Walrus Man 5) RINO 6) Cosmopolitan 7) Amanaman 8) Squid Head 9) Cucservative 10) Dindu 11) Snaggletooth…

    Life

    Not Sexy Halloween Costumes I’ve Tried and the Confused Reactions They Received

    By Sarah Louisa BurnsOctober 22, 2017

    Halloween, as a young-ish adult, is generally about having fun, drinking, wearing tasteless costumes, and possibly sexing up the cutie…

    Breaking News

    Trump Assures Fallen Soldier’s Widow Country Will Be Saying ‘Merry Christmas’ Again

    By Robot Butt News Corp.October 22, 2017

    WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump made another phone call to a fallen soldier’s widow this weekend, comforting her by guaranteeing that the country…

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