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      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026

      TOP-GROSSING ROCK REUNION TOURS THIS SUMMER

      August 24, 2026

      20 Genre-Bending College Rock Bands To Try Out After They Exist

      July 26, 2026

      FUN & HARMLESS WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOUR BLUES MUSICIAN BFF

      May 12, 2026

      EVERY LEGAL CHARGE BY HIS MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT AGAINST “THE ANDREW FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE”

      May 4, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026
    • Fiction
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      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      A Cartoon About A Prawn

      June 13, 2026

      Two Cartoons About Apples

      June 11, 2026

      A Cartoon About Pocket Notebooks

      May 31, 2026

      Steel Toe Tommy

      September 21, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      PAPPY’S ICED TEA

      June 21, 2026

      This End Up

      June 7, 2026
    • History

      An Oral History Of The Heimlich Maneuver

      September 18, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      Alexander The Great Solves The Gordian Knot

      August 3, 2026

      Clarifications From Count Dracula

      August 2, 2026

      America’s 250th Anniversary – State Motto Update

      July 27, 2026
    • Life
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      Modern Hail Sizes for a Golf Ball Illiterate Nation

      October 11, 2026

      SpaceX to Launch One Trillion Dollars to the Sun

      September 12, 2026

      Sociologist Who Lost 23 Pairs of Glasses Finally Cracks Mosh Pit Code

      September 11, 2026

      2026 Virtual National Labor Day Picnic Celebration: AI Agents And Assistants Only; Humans Not Invited

      September 7, 2026

      I Have Become A Haiku Master

      July 5, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      Do’s and Don’ts for Your First Camping Trip 

      September 22, 2026
    • Politics
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      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      PLEASE STOP BETTING ON MY IMPROV SHOWS ON KALSHI!

      August 11, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Mr. Go (2013)

      August 4, 2026

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      DAT ASS Is Going To Revolutionize—And Democratize—Professional Sports As We Know It

      July 11, 2026
    • Podcasts
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      Beyond Gulf and Lake of America, Hey! Plans To Name And Rename Bodies Of Water

      September 9, 2026

      Next Minions Movie Announced: Minions & Speech Therapists 

      September 2, 2026

      Iran Gains Control Of Reflecting Pool

      August 31, 2026

      Mindfulness App Achieves Sentience: Immediately Develops Anxiety

      August 23, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
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      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Science

    An Undiscovered Fossil Imagines Its Big Break

    By Lauren TousignantJuly 30, 2018

    For 150 million years I’ve laid here. Covered beneath heaps of dirt and rocks and so many bugs. Patiently waiting…

    Entertainment

    Is This a Hickey or a Bruise? And 7 Other Katy Perry Lyrics From ‘Last Friday Night’ That Are Also Epic AA Shares

    By Paul LanderJuly 30, 2018

    Did you know that lyrics from Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” will have you ready to impress at any AA meeting?…

    Entertainment

    I’m the Self-Deprecating Comedian You All Know and Would Love If I Weren’t Totally Unlovable

    By Steph WestendorfJuly 28, 2018

    How’s everybody doin’? I’m fine. Not like, “Ooh, she’s fine.” I’m actually pretty below average in the looks department. I’m…

    Entertainment

    Responses to a Bro’s Facebook Status Asking for Book Recommendations

    By Blair DawsonJuly 26, 2018

    Stephen White, a 23-year-old bro, posted a Facebook status asking his peers for book recommendations. Upon realizing Infinite Jest by…

    Entertainment

    MMORPG Dating Tips for Ogres: Things You Should Never Say to an Ogress

    By Robert McGeeJuly 25, 2018

    1. Are you really going to eat all of that elf? 2. You have a really pretty mace. 3. You should smite…

    Comics

    Beethoven’s First

    By Brandon HicksJuly 24, 2018

       

    Columns

    Wine Pairings With Trump Tweets: A High ABV Zinfandel for July

    By Olivia SieckJuly 24, 2018

    Hello, or, what we will be saying in six months, Здравствуйте. Since we will look like a Tolstoy novel by…

    Breaking News

    IMF Human Resources Department Dreading Paperwork for Ethan Hunt’s 14th Disavowal

    By Robot Butt News Corp.July 23, 2018

      WASHINGTON – After engaging in wanton destruction and causing hundreds of millions of dollars in damages in the Belarusian city…

    Columns

    The Gorton’s Fisherman Gives His Advice on Swimsuit Shopping

    By Lauren MorrisJuly 23, 2018

    Argh, it is I, the Gorton’s fisherman, the guy on the fish sticks box in the freezer at your local…

    History

    Ernest Hemingway Discovers Frosé

    By Chris BrotzmanJuly 21, 2018

    Rinaldi and I were discussing bravery and war and bullfights and fly-fishing and the smell of death in the trenches…

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