⭐⭐⭐⭐½ (4.5/5)
First Impressions
First impressions of the product were that the packaging was a little basic, although this was overshadowed by the nice design and look of the onesies and, most importantly, the softness of the fabric.
The product description boasts that it has a patented micro modal fabric that is 10x softer than any of their competitors, which I initially thought was a bold claim. However, having sampled it honestly, I would say it’s even more than 10x softer than their competitors.
My wife was so impressed she actually refused to remove hers all weekend, even when she was visibly uncomfortable and overheating. It did become a little strange when she started refusing to take the onesie off to shower or use the toilet, so this may not be suitable for people who would prefer their partner to observe traditional hygiene standards.
She also began to speak in tongues and only eat raw meat, but boy was she cosy inside that thing.
I did eventually attempt to encourage her to remove the onesie, but as soon as I did, her eyes turned black and she levitated above me while all the lights in our flat began to flicker. Her voice became distorted and deep, and she said, “This onesie is so comfortable that it makes you feel all fuzzy on the inside.”
Which was a little off for her usual character, but I just put it down to the superior quality of the onesie’s construction compared to her usual clothing, making her feel a little strongly about it.
Pros
- Exceptionally soft patented micro modal fabric
- Bold comfort claims that genuinely deliver
- Strong third-party validation
Due to my wife’s enthusiasm for the product, she decided to wear it into the office on Monday. While she was initially a hit with her co-workers, they quickly became frustrated with her black eyes and the way her demonic powers were interfering with the electrical systems.
When she was brought into HR, she apparently became violent, announced her name was now Abaddon the Destroyer, and began to choke the HR director.
However, this does bring me back to a major pro of the onesie. Apparently, as Abaddon’s (my wife’s) forearm was crushing the HR manager’s windpipe, she commented that she had never felt a fabric so soft and luxurious in her life.
On explaining that it does appear the onesie has possessed my wife with a demonic spirit, the HR manager did point out to me that “at these prices you would almost have to expect some faults or quirks in the product from time to time.”
Which is a fantastic point.
Cons
- May cause minor workplace disruption
- Potential interference with electrical systems
- Possible demonic possession
- Currently responsible for approximately 50 deaths (RIP)
I haven’t actually seen my wife for a few days, as it would appear she is now flying through the streets collecting innocent souls for some reason. But I have to say that watching all this destruction and mayhem unfold on television whilst wrapped in the superior comfort of this onesie has been making me feel all “fuzzy” on the inside.
Who Is This For?
This onesie is for those who value comfort and enjoy snuggling up next to their partner in the evening, even if she is speaking in tongues and levitating.
It is not for those who prefer a two-piece set of pajamas over an all-in-one set-up.
Overall Verdict
Overall, very impressed 4.5/5.
(Had to remove half a point on account of the 50 lives that have now been taken by Abaddon. RIP.)