These classic holiday movies are watched every year by millions of kids, but what lessons are they actually taking away from them?
The Santa Clause
If you murder Santa, you get to be the next Santa.
Home Alone
It’s okay to brutally torture people that break into your house.
Elf
Irrespective of what your parents say, it’s perfectly reasonable to eat candy and syrup for breakfast.
The Grinch
If you steal from people, no matter how much of an absolute cunt you’ve been, they’ll forgive you and invite you for Christmas dinner.
Miracle on 34th Street
It’s fine to waste millions of tax payers dollars on frivolous lawsuits.
The Muppet Christmas Carol
You can treat everyone around you like shit your whole life for financial gain, so long as you repent and buy them a Christmas Turkey before you die.
It’s A Wonderful Life
If you suffer with acute mental illness, an obese, white-haired angel in a nightshirt will come to save you before anything really bad happens.
Love Actually
It’s okay to wanna shag your mate’s wife, so long as you explain it to her using a series of hand-written placards on her door step.
Home Alone 2
It’s also fine to torture burglars in abandoned houses in New York.