Hi. I’m Ice T, and anybody that knows me knows that I don’t like pickles and I don’t like special sauce. The problem is not everybody knows me, so even Ice T gets a bad order. That’s when ???????? goes to work. ???????? is the insurance you need when your drive-thru lunch order turns into a head-on collision. Don’t let a faulty intercom system ruin your day. With ???????? you can place your order knowing that it will all be taken care of eventually.
Here’s how it works:
1. Drive through the golden arches and place an order for your favorite snack and beverage.
2. Once you’ve received your order and determined that it’s been screwed up, simply email one of our ???????? representatives, or dial 1-800 ???????? and leave a voice mail (in care of Tommy) at our claim processing center, and we’ll do the rest.
3. Our highly-qualified and fully certified claims examiners will process your application to make sure that you get every morsel you are entitled to by law. In a few short weeks, you’ll receive the restitution you deserve.
The ???????? Gold Package offers the comprehensive protection and security that you and your family need.
???????? features include:
— Roadside Service* provides you with on-the-spot extra napkins to cover spills and condiment level maintenance to ensure ketchup and barbecue sauce supply is always at safe levels.
— Free Loaner Meals are available when your meal needs repairs.
— Reasonable rates for replacement Big Macs in the event you’ve been hamburglarized.
— Full liability coverage if your meal causes the death or dismemberment of a third party.
You may never need it. But if you do, you’ll be thankful that you have it. ???????? simply makes sense.
Here’s what a few of our satisfied customers have to say:
“I ordered a ten-piece McNugget, but one of them nuggets was just a clump of fried breading. It was a real buzz-kill. Thanks to ????????, in six weeks I received three dollars in Mickie Dee’s coupons. That’s way more than one nugget.” – Anton C., Detroit, Mich.
“My Filet-O-Fish sandwich tasted a little funny. I ate it, but the next morning was a rough time. I was able to leave Tommy a voicemail right from my bathroom. He saw to it that I got a free small Coke with my next purchase of ten dollars or more. Thanks, ????????.” – Karen T., Barstow, Ca.
“My wife warned me not to get an iced French Vanilla Latte at a quickie burger joint. What a disappointment! ???????? wasted no time in upgrading my McDonald’s coupon to a Starbucks coupon. Merci beaucoup ????????.” – Johnny B., Kearny, NJ
“I ordered two Big Macs, a large fry, a chocolate shake, and two hot apple pies. I wasn’t able to finish it all and dumped it out on I-80 somewhere around Joliet. Tommy explained to me that my policy doesn’t cover over-ordering, but he worked with me to make sure I’d be safe the next time. ???????? is worth every dollar.” – Tanya S., Peoria, Ill.
As you can see, ???????? protects you from a bad drive-thru experience. Nothing ruins a first date, a post-game celebration, or a somber repast like a high school sophomore that’s too stoned to function in a fast-food world. Insure your drive-thru memories with ????????.
?? ????? ??????????? ???
Ask about the 10% discount at ?????? ???????
Download the ???????? app H̲E̲R̲E̲**
*Roadside Service only available within three miles of Tommy’s house.
**Device must be Fortran compatible
