A Steaming pile of faketion.
Not many people know this, but…Ringo Starr and Pete Best arm-wrestled to decide who would become the Beatles’ drummer. But before we get into the details, let’s take a look at the two subjects.
As a young boy in the rock and roll hotbed of Liverpool, Randolph Peter Scanland wanted a drum kit. But
his widowed mother who worked six jobs to support her two children told her son that they couldn’t
afford it. So Peter (he hated the name Randolph) taught himself to play by pounding a neighbor boy’s
head with twin ball-peen hammers. After four concussions and a brain hemorrhage later, mom caved, took another two jobs, and bought her son his drum kit. But Peter, an avid animal activist, had an emotionally difficult time transitioning from human skull to goat skin drum heads. He remedied this by drawing the image of his neighbor’s bloody noggin on the skins. Scanland went on to become one of the major young percussion talents in Liverpool, which he felt entitled him to change his surname to Best.
At the same time, another Liverpudlian, Richard Starkey grew up in a broken home. The roof had leaks, the floorboards were cracked and the plumbing rarely worked. In addition, Richard’s parents were divorced. Since he was the lone child, his mother had to take only three jobs to provide for them. Unfortunately, young Richie contracted tuberculosis and had to be admitted to a sanatorium, where in an effort to stimulate motor activity he took up percussion. With human skulls deemed off-limits, Richard practiced by using a mallet to strike the cabinets next to his bed.
And so, the Peter–Richard similarities began. “Ringo”? At the sanatorium, Richard had a habit of leaving indelible rings around the community bathtub. The maligning moniker would stick with him beyond his adolescent years.
Fast-forward to 1962. Pete Best landed a gig as drummer for the up-and-coming band known as the Beatles. Legend has it that the other three members of the group wanted Pete fired and replaced with Richard because Best’s good looks were attracting more female fans than they were. Not true. Another rumor was that George Martin wouldn’t sign off on Starkey because “John, Paul, George, and Richard” sounded “bollocks”. Also untrue because George Martin, ever the proper English gentleman, was above using such a phrase. He would have said “impermissible”. Although when he’s had one too many Pimm’s Cups, Martin has been known to spout “Sod-off you bloody arse bugger git” to passersby.
Here’s the truth: Beatles’ manager and driving force daddy-figure Brian Epstein wanted the group to have a Jewish presence. And that would be Richard “Ringo” Starkey. Problem was, Starkey wasn’t Jewish. But to solidify himself with Epstein as an acceptable Sephardic replacement for Best, Starkey created a fake album of Bar Mitzvah photos. “Not so fast,” said Pete. To out-Hebrew Ringo, he got himself circumcised. The proof was in a certificate and thankfully not photos.
Ringo countered by getting a Jewish star tattooed on his right cheek, but was told by Epstein that he wouldn’t be able to be buried in a Jewish cemetery to which he replied “Who gives a bleedin’ shite?” Sensing an advantage, Best volunteered to have himself buried in a Jewish grave the next day.
But Epstein decided that the true test for the two would be how they pronounced “Chanukah”. Sadly, neither could master the hard “Ch”.
Beatles’ publicist Tony Barrow, who later would receive credit for coining the term “Fab Four” suggested that Best and Starkey arm-wrestle, with the winner crowned the group’s drummer. George Martin, whose tank was full up with breakfast Pimm’s referred to Barrow as a “Mingy, knob-brained wanker”, which prompted the insultee to take a swing at the insulter. But Martin deftly ducked and Barrow’s fist
consecutively decked John, Paul, and George in Three Stooges fashion.
To de-escalate the chances of a larger brawl, Brian Epstein decided to have Ringo and Pete share the drumming duties, each at their own kit. His raison d’être: They were both required to wear the same clothes and haircuts, so who would notice anyway. But during the new configuration’s first gig together, Ringo Starr (he changed his last name to one-up his competitor) and Pete Best, now jokingly known as Pringo, hit each other with their sticks more than they hit their percussive instruments. And so…arm wrestling it was.
We all know that Richard Starkey became the Beatles’ permanent drummer. No surprise there. It’s how it happened. He showed up at the arm wrestling match with rings on each finger of his grappling hand. That same jewelry dug into Pete Best’s bare fingers, rendering him painfully helpless and unable to continue the contest. From that moment forward, Richard Starkey changed his Ringo narrative. He would no longer be known for his embarrassing bathtub art, only for his digit decorations.
The arm wrestling practice became so popular that George Harrison was required to defeat both John and Paul to get one of his songs on an album.
