Are you one of the 46.6+ million Americans affected by mental illness each year? Whether you suffer or are affected because a loved one suffers, you should know that you’re not alone. It’s not unusual to feel sad, depressed, angry, anxious, or even suicidal. And when you do, don’t reach out for professional help. That would be expensive and embarrassing. Instead, reach for a box of our greasy hamburgers and soggy fries because hey, if globs of saturated fat can’t cheer you up, nothing will!
There are many signs that you or a loved one might be suffering from a mental illness. If you’re feeling irritable or excessively sad, you may be struggling with bipolar disorder or even extreme depression. There are many approaches, both medical and therapeutic, to treat conditions like these. But at Burger King, we say “fuck that bullshit.” Gorge yourself on a triple bacon cheeseburger until your sadness is gone and the only thing left to feel is a horrific stomachache.
Healthcare studies suggest that, by far, the most important step is speaking up. If you notice friends and relatives showing signs of mental illness, it’s important to say something. But that can be awkward and weird and who likes having weird-ass conversations about ugly shit like panic attacks? No thanks. It’s far easier to hop on the beef train and take it all the way down to chow town. For just an extra $1.99, you can suck on a 36 oz. jug of ice cold pre-diabetes.
If you haven’t already noticed, our entire premise here is to create a never-ending loop of eating and sadness. You feel unhappy because of anxiety? Eat Burger King. Now you’re unhappy because you’re fat? Eat more Burger King. Now you’re depressed because your doctor told you to stop having so much Burger King? EAT MORE BURGER KING!!!
In closing, mental health is a very touchy subject that affects a lot of people, in a lot of different ways, with vastly differing levels of severity. People’s lives are quite literally on the line. Research is being done, but can’t catch up fast enough to a world riddled with stress and overstimulation. The human brain is the most complex thing that exists in the physical universe, and as such, should be treated with extreme sensitivity and caution. A brand would have to be mentally unstable to try and commandeer this topic online. But at Burger King, our brand managers are literally that fucking crazy. So don’t go see a therapist, or worry about your ex-boyfriend, or wonder why Nanna keeps repeating herself. Eat a fucking Whopper™ and start worrying about heart disease like a normal American.
You know what they say: Talk is cheap. But our dollar menu is cheaper.
Burger King. #FeelYourWay #AsLongAsHowYouFeelIsHungry
