Each week from across America, two families are chosen.
This week, the McCallisters from Chicago, Illinois. Buzz McCallister from Home Alone is a bully and a little jerk who loves pizza and tarantulas. His girlfriend is quiet but otherwise perfectly nice.
And the Archers from Los Angeles, California. FBI Special Agent Sean Archer survived an assassination attempt by terrorist-for-hire Castor Troy in Face/Off. Their lives are now woven together ever since they underwent an experimental face transplant surgery to trade identities. Sean Archer now looks remarkably like Nicolas Cage, acting like terrorist Castor Troy, and Castor Troy, who could eat a peach for hours, now looks like John Travolta, pretending to be FBI Special Agent Sean Archer. They’re not confused and neither are we.
Each wife is about to get a new husband and a new life.
THEY SWAP LIVES FOR TWO WEEKS
REAL HOMES
REAL LIVES
REAL DRAMA
WIFE SWAP.
Buzz and his girlfriend live in an expensive home in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois. If it’s not eating pizza, judging elderly neighbors, or withholding love from his brother, Buzz doesn’t want to hear about it. His girlfriend just hangs out in his room all day and doesn’t push back when Buzz gets out of line.
And Buzz’s girlfriend is about to give it all up to swap lives with a person she’s never met over 2,000 miles away in California.
Nicolas Cage, pretending to be FBI Special Agent Sean Archer pretending to be Castor Troy, is obsessed with two things and two things only: finding and disarming a bomb in Los Angeles and avenging the death of his son. John Travolta pretending to be Castor Troy pretending to be FBI Special Agent Sean Archer is equally obsessed with taking over FBI Special Agent Sean Archer’s life and ruining his career. And that shouldn’t be too hard because he swapped faces with him.
For the first week, the wives must live by the rules of their new family.
Immediately upon arrival, Nicolas Cage tells Buzz’s girlfriend to stay out of his way goddammit. He’s an FBI Special Agent disguised as a terrorist, and he doesn’t have time for her bullshit. Plus, he only has eyes for his wife, and their relationship has been strained ever since their son was killed and he swapped faces with a terrorist. Buzz’s girlfriend stays silent and takes his garbage. It’s not so different from her life at home, although Castor Troy is paid to be a terrorist and Buzz just does it for free.
Meanwhile, in Chicago, Buzz is puzzled as to why John Travolta is his new wife in this scenario. He tells John Travolta not to eat his pizza and to go easy on the Pepsi. Buzz calls him a phlegm wad and a trout sniffer, and John Travolta finally loses it on him. He may look like an FBI Special Agent that looks like John Travolta, but he’s actually a terrorist at heart.
The second week, the new wives take control. The families are summoned to the rules change ceremony. It’s time for the new wives to lay down the rules, which the families must obey.
Castor Troy disguised as John Travolta hatches a plot to rob houses in the neighborhood over the holidays. He tries to convince Buzz to swap faces with him for the heist, and Buzz says no. He makes booby traps with a hot iron, tar, feathers, hot doorknobs, and broken Christmas ornaments to punish Buzz for breaking the new family rules.
Nicolas Cage asks Buzz’s girlfriend what her rules are. She says nothing. He asks again; she’s silent. He leans in close in his rage. He’s shouting, begging her to say what she wants. He starts sobbing. No one has ever listened to him like this before.
The couples are about to be reunited.
At the reunion, Nicolas Cage and John Travolta get into a gun fight, followed by a boat chase at which Nicolas Cage kills John Travolta with a fishing harpoon. Buzz runs to his girlfriend and embraces her. He had missed her steady, silent presence.
In the weeks since the swap, there have been big changes at the Archer household. John Travolta, who didn’t actually die because that was actually Castor Troy disguised as John Travolta, got his original face back and is a lot more relaxed. His time with Buzz’s girlfriend while looking like Nicolas Cage showed him how it feels to be truly heard.
And there have been even bigger changes in the McCallister house. Buzz realized something he had never noticed before. His girlfriend is actually just a framed photo.
Next up: The kid from Free Willy on tonight’s Super Nanny.