Want to get the election results you’re looking for in November?
Republicans, just change the official title of your state’s Secretary of State to Independent Commissioner of Elections. Then all you have to do is hang giant “ICE” signs at every polling place. You’ll get the voter demographic you need, trust me.
And Democrats, remember that most polling places are in public schools and libraries. Just double-book each venue with Drag Queen Story Hour. And have a red carpet photo op leading to every entrance. Mr. MAGA voter, meet “Polly Darton”!
Do I have to think of everything?