“Smash hits!” flames Karl Wolf, president of Wolf, Lion, and Mane Studios. “If Danny Day-Lewis unretires, all the world’s a stage!” Around the conference table, a dozen producers stare into their lattes as the metaphor floats above them like coffee froth. “And just in time. Who do we have left? Tom Hanks? A Man Called Otto? He’s reprising Gabby Hayes and Andy Devine. How many granddad movies do we need, when Eastwood’s churning them out like baked beans? What next, Planet of the Aged?” The room echoes. “As soon as Danny climbs down from Scorsese’s new movie, a Jesus-tells-all, we’ll…
Author: Tom Ballard
Tom Ballard
Tom Ballard's short fiction has been published in Defenestration, Jokes Literary, and Little Old Lady Humor. A naturopathic doctor, he has also written nonfiction on health topics, as well as plays produced at the Seattle Fringe Festival and Seattle Director’s Festival. When not walking his pet geoduck, Bob, on the beaches of Seattle, he can be found at TomBallardArts.com and on YouTube.