Author: Ralph Gamelli

First five syllables Follow with seven then five Fairly simple I suppose but honestly what’s the point of so specific a structure? # This line is easy As is this subsequent line But this third one continues to give me problems for reasons I can’t quite put my finger on # This time I’ll do it I am up to the challenge All I must do is remember to keep this concluding line at exactly five syllables and I will _ugh!_ # I shall achieve this My mind is clear and focused And now I simply put down five _dammit!_…

What you will need: A sledgehammer An old tire placed on its side An overwhelming sense of rage Workout #1 1. Carefully grip sledgehammer 2. Stand approximately 12 to 18 inches from tire 3. Assume a staggered stance, with one foot slightly in front of the other 4. Swing sledgehammer at tire 5. Repeat until red haze lifts from the world Workout #2 1. Grab sledgehammer 2. Hit tire with it 3. Repeat until you reach an acceptable level of muscle fatigue and/or imaginary vengeance 4. Glance around nervously to make sure no one saw you 5. Perform five minutes of cool-down exercises Workout #3…