Your team will arrive fifteen minutes late. Before the game starts, expect to wait anywhere from one hour up to “this is what death feels like.” Don’t forget to put your name down or else your team will murder you. A proper pregame warm-up consists of catching up with your team on how “it’s been way too long since everyone had to wait this long for brunch.” When the waiter calls your name, double-check that every player is present. A missing teammate defers your game’s start time, even if Chad left for “just a quick coffee run.” Stay positive. Breathe.…
Author: Irving Ruan
Irving Ruan
Irving Ruan is a writer and comedian living in the San Francisco Bay Area. His work has been published in McSweeney's, Funny Or Die, The Bold Italic, and elsewhere. You can find him on Twitter, where his tweets are read by hundreds but only three are entertained.