A video from 2022 has been rediscovered where new House Speaker Mike Johnson reveals that to fight porn addiction, him and his son use an eroticism monitoring app that notifies the other whenever one attempts to view pornography. I haven’t seen the video, but assume he is being waterboarded or slammed against a desk by Batman when he gives this information. Otherwise why would he say it. Regardless, he’s been catching a lot of flack in the media lately.
I am here to say that I don’t think it’s that weird. What’s wrong with a father and his son 17-year-old son encouraging each other to spend their time in more productive ways than cranking their shafts or, say, chopping their logs.
The second one I said wasn’t a euphemism. It was literal. That’s right, my father, Walter Braley Sr., and I, Walter Braley (father says I haven’t earned the “Jr.” yet) have also been using Covenant Eyes, the Christian conservative accountability app. Only we don’t have any issues with porn, we have a crippling addiction to the MMORPG Runescape.
There have been so many nights, when I’m laying in bed lonely, and in a moment of weakness consider opening an incognito window and cooking 700 shrimp in a row. It is only knowing that my dad would immediately know about it that stops me. Similarly, there have been at least a half dozen instances where I know my dad was sneaking out of bed and to the basement to “train his agility” if you know what I mean (once again I mean this literally and there is no second meaning. No idea why I wrote it like that).
So maybe next time, before judging the person second in line to the presidency because he and his teenage son get notifications when the other is going to town on themselves, show some empathy. Instead of cutting up or making fun of what is a very normal thing to do, you could be growing closer to your own father while also eliminating your own vices, like smoking, eating junk food, or herblore.