Examining heterosexuality as a policing arm of fascism through popular media.
Last year, the Materialists trailer made me wish we could gather all the straight people in this world on an island and lob SCUD missiles at them. (Colleen Hoover would be at the helm of this group for undisclosed yet obvious reasons). The return of pedestrian heterosexual romcoms at a time when reality is melting like a Dali watch in front of our eyes (apropos: politics; discourse about whether Sabrina’s album cover is feminist or not; AI; did I mention politics?) begs a critical look at heterosexuality in media so we can reveal it’s fascistic nature before further damage is done. So here is a list of media proving heterosexuality to be a fascistic institution that disempowers women:
1. Notebook – this movie fucking SUCKS. Apart from Ryan Gosling harassing Rachel McAdams for like, most of the movie, he also makes her miss out on a life of opulence and power for “love”. Then she gets dementia. Then she has to keep listening to him narrate their story over and over again. The hubris of a man to assume a dying woman would want to hear about her love story with him ad nauseam instead of something fun, like idk, the plot of a Kurosawa movie, is pretty par for course though. Also, Ryan Gosling looks like if we sent Ryan Reynolds hurtling through a black hole.
2. Desperately Seeking Susan – or should I say Desperately Queer Baiting. In what universe does Patricia Arquette ending up with some random white guy instead of MADONNA seem like a better ending? The movie starts off with her (rightfully) leaving her annoying and boring husband only to end up with another lame guy who doesn’t challenge her or add anything valuable to her life – all the while, she has endless chemistry with Madonna.
3. Se7en – I have used my carefully cultivated deductive abilities to deduct that the message in the movie is “Don’t marry Brad Pitt or you will die.” Seriously. Gwyneth Paltrow dies because she was married to Brad Pitt.
4. Iron Man – Watching Gwyneth Paltrow act subservient to Tony Stark was nauseating.This movie is the perfect depiction of what is expected of women in heterosexual relationships – dissolution of one’s identity and self so that a man’s life can be centered. Also, there’s so many things wrong with this movie like, Pepper Potts you better call OSHA and gtfo of there.
5. Circe – not a movie yet, but having Madeleine Miller build an incredible character with depth and an understanding of interpersonal power dynamics like nothing we’ve seen before only to have her lamely end up with Telemachus was so….. devastating.
6. Single White Female – this is actually more an example of why men shouldn’t direct movies. Imagine this movie directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal or Varda. The POSSIBILITIES…. and I think I could attribute this movie being wasted potential to the director being a Single White Straight Male. So there’s heterosexuality ruining things again. Or whatever idk The list could go on.
My point is, when Valerie Solanas (who shot Andy Warhol) said: “(A male) Being empty, not being a complete, separate being, having no self to groove on and needing to be constantly in female company, he can’t, for the life of him, understand why anyone would prefer so much as one minute of solitude to the company of any creep around. ” She was right. Ladies, get a gun.