Hey, fam! Sorry I haven’t posted in like, 300 years! Anyway, some incel (read: complete VIRGIN!) lit the Black Flame Candle and broke our curse! It’s great to be back in Salem, witches! #HocusPocus #WereGonnaPutaSpellOnYou #WhereAreAllTheDeliciousKids
It’s Witch Trial Season, ladies! Check out this new line of Elizabethan-era dresses! (link in bio). The corset top will have your pumpkins ready for some tricks AND treats, and the flowing gown will hide your swollen legs after you’ve been unfairly hung by a torch-carrying mob! #ad #fashion #dresses #BadWitchAlert #WhereAreAllTheDeliciousKids
OMG, I’m a cat-mom!!!! Everyone meet my new furbaby, Thackery! He’s cute, floofy, and used to be a living boy before I murdered him and trapped his soul inside the body of a cat. Thackery has his own account so please follow him @MyBoyBinx. #catsofInstagram #catmom #WePutASpellOnHiim #WhereAreAllTheDelicousKids
Life would be NOTHING without these two witches! Big shoutout to my besties and partners-in-crime, Winnie and Mary! #sisters #squad #bestwitches #plussize #curvywitches #bodypositive
So, a lot of my followers have been asking, ”How do you still look so good, even at 326 years old?” I’ve got a simple, three-step skincare routine that keeps me looking dewy and fresh, even in death. Step one: capture a child. Two: cast a spell, removing the child’s soul from its body. Three: devour the soul like a ravenous demon, using your ring finger to lightly dab a little underneath each eye. #skincare #glowing #positivelife #foreveryoung #makeuponpoint #WhereAreAllTheDeliciousKids
Here’s a clip of me, Winnie, and Mary singing “I Put A Spell On You.” You can check out the whole video on my TikTok. This song SLAPS! (Link in bio). #music #vibes #lit #WePutASpellOnYou #WhereAreAllTheDeliciousKids
Like some of you, after a light meal of garden-fresh children, I can feel bloated sometimes, making it uncomfortable to cinch down the corset top to my dress. This new line of probiotic tea, @Kidboucha, will get rid of all your tummy toils and troubles! It’s made from the tears of children, severed toad heads, and the ominous screech of a crow, all boiled together in a festering cauldron. Made small batch right here in Salem! #ad #tea #health #probiotics #kidBOOcha
Who needs pictures on a beach when you can be a cackling silhouette flying across the face of the moon? What a way to showcase the new iPhone 11 Night Mode. #ad #apple #selfie #broomlife #nofilter #WhereAreAllTheDeliciousKids
Oh you know, just hanging out in a graveyard with Billy the Zombie! I think my beauty made him speechless. JK! He’s speechless because I sutured his mouth shut hehehe. #100percentthatwitch #zombies #undead #Where AreAllTheDeliciousKids #ImStillHungryForAllTheBabies #MamasGottaEat
LOVE LOVE LOVE this new line of yoga pants. They are perfect for spin class, followed by shopping at Trader Joe’s. Plus, they make your *peach emoji* look amazing so adolescent boys will flock to you, making it much easier to trap them and eat them. #ad #yogapants #athleisurewear #StillStarvingToEatSomeTastyDeliciousChildren
Nothing like a good sunrise broom flight! Oh no, did I say sunrise? Whoops! I forgot sunlight will totally kill me – anyway, thanks for all the likes and follows, love you fam I’m going to explode into stardust now byyyyeeeeeeee #lit #reallylit #imdead
