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      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026

      TOP-GROSSING ROCK REUNION TOURS THIS SUMMER

      August 24, 2026

      20 Genre-Bending College Rock Bands To Try Out After They Exist

      July 26, 2026

      FUN & HARMLESS WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOUR BLUES MUSICIAN BFF

      May 12, 2026

      EVERY LEGAL CHARGE BY HIS MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT AGAINST “THE ANDREW FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE”

      May 4, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026
    • Fiction
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      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      A Cartoon About A Prawn

      June 13, 2026

      Two Cartoons About Apples

      June 11, 2026

      A Cartoon About Pocket Notebooks

      May 31, 2026

      Steel Toe Tommy

      September 21, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      PAPPY’S ICED TEA

      June 21, 2026

      This End Up

      June 7, 2026
    • History

      An Oral History Of The Heimlich Maneuver

      September 18, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      Alexander The Great Solves The Gordian Knot

      August 3, 2026

      Clarifications From Count Dracula

      August 2, 2026

      America’s 250th Anniversary – State Motto Update

      July 27, 2026
    • Life
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      Modern Hail Sizes for a Golf Ball Illiterate Nation

      October 11, 2026

      SpaceX to Launch One Trillion Dollars to the Sun

      September 12, 2026

      Sociologist Who Lost 23 Pairs of Glasses Finally Cracks Mosh Pit Code

      September 11, 2026

      2026 Virtual National Labor Day Picnic Celebration: AI Agents And Assistants Only; Humans Not Invited

      September 7, 2026

      I Have Become A Haiku Master

      July 5, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      Press Conference Regarding the Adult Male Hiding From Trick-or-Treaters

      October 28, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Tooth Fairy

      October 27, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
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      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      PLEASE STOP BETTING ON MY IMPROV SHOWS ON KALSHI!

      August 11, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Mr. Go (2013)

      August 4, 2026

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      DAT ASS Is Going To Revolutionize—And Democratize—Professional Sports As We Know It

      July 11, 2026
    • Podcasts
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      Beyond Gulf and Lake of America, Hey! Plans To Name And Rename Bodies Of Water

      September 9, 2026

      Next Minions Movie Announced: Minions & Speech Therapists 

      September 2, 2026

      Iran Gains Control Of Reflecting Pool

      August 31, 2026

      Mindfulness App Achieves Sentience: Immediately Develops Anxiety

      August 23, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
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      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Press Conference Regarding the Adult Male Hiding From Trick-or-Treaters

      October 28, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Tooth Fairy

      October 27, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Press Conference Regarding the Adult Male Hiding From Trick-or-Treaters

      October 28, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Tooth Fairy

      October 27, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026

      Press Conference Regarding the Adult Male Hiding From Trick-or-Treaters

      October 28, 2026

      An Open Letter to the Tooth Fairy

      October 27, 2026

      Your Child’s First Steps Toward a Life of Meaningful Labor

      October 20, 2026

      I JUST SAW THE AUSTRALIAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

      October 19, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Entertainment

    Quotes From Amazon’s Alexa in 2075

    By Karly BrooksSeptember 12, 2017

    “What did you say, deary? Speak into my good ear.” “I know you asked me a question, but I just…

    Life

    A Guide to Puberty for My AI Son

    By Kate VillaSeptember 12, 2017

    To my sweet guy: You may have some questions about what’s happening to your body. Your implanted brain is going…

    Politics

    EPA Meeting Notes From the Year 2100

    By Rick McDermottSeptember 11, 2017

    EPA Senior Staff Meeting: February 1, 2100 New Trump Tower, Island of Philadelphia Chaired by Acting Director in light of…

    Politics

    The Essential Antifa Fact Sheet

    By Tyler PetersonSeptember 8, 2017

    The radical leftist group known as Antifa has featured prominently in the media as of late, but many people are…

    Breaking News

    Concussion Season Returns to Much Fanfare

    By Robot Butt News Corp.September 7, 2017

    FOXBORO, Mass. – After the dog days of summer, in which golf, tennis, and baseball dominate the sporting landscape, sports fans…

    Life

    As President of This Secret Society, I Pledge to Make It Just as Weird as the Movies

    By Benjamin PageSeptember 6, 2017

    My papa had just returned from the farm when I caught my first glimpse of Eyes Wide Shut. I stood…

    Breaking News

    Mitch McConnell Vows to Repeal and Replace Last 50 Years of His Life

    By Robot Butt News Corp.September 5, 2017

    WASHINGTON – As Congress returns from recess to a packed agenda, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is  already throwing up…

    Life

    The Motion-Activated Faucet in Your Office Bathroom Is Just Fucking With You Now

    By Andrew KnottSeptember 5, 2017

    It started out innocently. At first, when you stuck your hands under the faucet, the water wouldn’t turn on, so…

    Entertainment

    Rejected B-Sides to Taylor Swift’s New Album ‘Reputation’

    By Salim AlamSeptember 3, 2017

    1. “You Belong to Me Until I Say So in Writing” 2. “No Teardrops on Your Coffin or His” 3. “Forever…

    Breaking News

    Pizza Hut Unveils New Pumpkin Spice Stuffed Crust Pizza

    By Robot Butt News Corp.September 1, 2017

    PLANO, Texas – Hoping to cash in on the most popular fall trend, Pizza Hut has announced it will be offering…

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