SAN FRANCISCO—“The team, the league, and my accountant all agreed: I’m cured.” Golden State power forward Draymond Green will officially make his return to the court today, wrapping up a month-long suspension for conduct detrimental to the league. “I want to set a better example for the kids. Kicking people in the groin is wrong, no matter how hilarious and satisfying it appears to to be.” “I apologize to every player I’ve wronged in my career, and promise to finish the job—er, to do better next time,” he said, giving a double thumbs-up to assembled media. Green declined to publicly…
Author: Zack Ehrmann
Zack Ehrmann
Zack Ehrmann was born and raised in Milwaukee, WI, and currently resides in Brooklyn, NY. He has worked intermittently as a grocery clerk (fired for smoking cigarettes underage), a ticket-taker for entry into a local waterpark, a record store clerk, a help desk technician, a law firm runner, a musician, a live captioner for telephonic devices utilized by the hard-of-hearing (fired for scoring below the accuracy threshold, and, rumor has it, doing so on purpose), a therapist, and a copywriter, to name a few. Hailing from a long line of talented writers, he has resolved to work hard enough to only be considered a mere embarrassment by way of comparison. His writing has appeared in The Wisconsin Review, and The Maui News, among others.