1. No shoes, no shirt, no siree. 2. Children accompanied by adults are welcome. 3. Adults accompanied by children will be asked to leave. 4. People will be admitted only in multiples of three. Except for trios, who must be accompanied by a groupie. Unless you are Trio, in which case Da Da Da. 5. Teslas will not be admitted unless accompanied by a driver. 6. Drivers will not be admitted unless accompanied by a Toyota. 7. Teslas driving Toyotas will be towed at Elon Musk’s expense. 8. Elon Musk will be towed at the owner’s expense. 9. All Karens should immediately…
Author: Sarah Totton
Sarah Totton
Sarah Totton is a humorist, short story author, and accidental poet. Her work has appeared at McSweeney's, PIC, LOL Comedy, The Belladonna, The Walrus, and The American Bystander.