Eat shit and die. We are going to body swap you and your teenage daughter, and then force her to work for us at current minimums. We will serve you a poisoned apple that will put you into a deep death-like sleep, so you will be unavailable to come to set. Your firstborn child will be cursed with obedience, so they will never question our very reasonable residual rates. Please, just please eat shit and die. Then we won’t have to pay for your lunches. You will become an ogre every night when the sun sets, and you will be…
Author: Kate Zasowski
Kate Zasowski
Kate Zasowski is a writer and stand-up comedian whose work centers on LGBTQ issues, feminism, and mental health. She recently co-wrote an episode of Big Shot (Disney+). She has also worked on I Love That For You, Atypical, Busy Tonight, Spitting Image. You may have seen Kate perform stand-up or improv around LA, listened to her podcast Straight Guys, or read her satirical humor pieces on Reductress and CollegeHumor.