Close Menu
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Robot Butt
    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026

      Next Minions Movie Announced: Minions & Speech Therapists 

      September 2, 2026

      TOP-GROSSING ROCK REUNION TOURS THIS SUMMER

      August 24, 2026

      20 Genre-Bending College Rock Bands To Try Out After They Exist

      July 26, 2026

      FUN & HARMLESS WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOUR BLUES MUSICIAN BFF

      May 12, 2026

      EVERY LEGAL CHARGE BY HIS MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT AGAINST “THE ANDREW FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE”

      May 4, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      NEW REALITY TV SHOWS FOR DONALD TRUMP

      September 17, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Planet Of The Vampires (1965)

      September 15, 2026

       High Politics in Sequins: Welcome to Eurovision  

      September 10, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      A Cartoon About A Prawn

      June 13, 2026

      Two Cartoons About Apples

      June 11, 2026

      A Cartoon About Pocket Notebooks

      May 31, 2026

      Steel Toe Tommy

      September 21, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      PAPPY’S ICED TEA

      June 21, 2026

      This End Up

      June 7, 2026
    • History

      An Oral History Of The Heimlich Maneuver

      September 18, 2026

      Nursery Rhymes – Ancient Wisdom Or Nefarious Lies?

      September 8, 2026

      Alexander The Great Solves The Gordian Knot

      August 3, 2026

      Clarifications From Count Dracula

      August 2, 2026

      America’s 250th Anniversary – State Motto Update

      July 27, 2026
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      Modern Hail Sizes for a Golf Ball Illiterate Nation

      October 11, 2026

      SpaceX to Launch One Trillion Dollars to the Sun

      September 12, 2026

      Sociologist Who Lost 23 Pairs of Glasses Finally Cracks Mosh Pit Code

      September 11, 2026

      2026 Virtual National Labor Day Picnic Celebration: AI Agents And Assistants Only; Humans Not Invited

      September 7, 2026

      I Have Become A Haiku Master

      July 5, 2026

      Local Airline Pilot Takes Train To Work

      April 2, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Appointments to Men In Black Your Memories Away Are On Hold Until 2029

      September 29, 2026

      Do’s and Don’ts for Your First Camping Trip 

      September 22, 2026

      National Retailers Renamed To Boost Halloween Sales 

      September 16, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      PLEASE STOP BETTING ON MY IMPROV SHOWS ON KALSHI!

      August 11, 2026

      Tubi Tuesday: Mr. Go (2013)

      August 4, 2026

      “Best in Show” Extreme Breed Makeover

      July 20, 2026

      DAT ASS Is Going To Revolutionize—And Democratize—Professional Sports As We Know It

      July 11, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Beyond Gulf and Lake of America, Hey! Plans To Name And Rename Bodies Of Water

      September 9, 2026

      Next Minions Movie Announced: Minions & Speech Therapists 

      September 2, 2026

      Iran Gains Control Of Reflecting Pool

      August 31, 2026

      Mindfulness App Achieves Sentience: Immediately Develops Anxiety

      August 23, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

      October 14, 2026

      Robot Butt is Selling a House!

      October 13, 2026

      We, the Interns at the Robot Butt, Make the Following Demands

      September 23, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026

      Enjoy This Lighthearted But Terrifying Halloween Post!

      October 18, 2026

      Physical Copies Of Our Real Estate Brochure Are Out Now!

      October 17, 2026

      Real Estate Listing for a Haunted House

      October 16, 2026

      5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

      October 15, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Home»All Content»Uncanny Valley»Staff Posts»19 Other Things Ben Carson Believes
    Staff Posts

    19 Other Things Ben Carson Believes

    The Robot Butt StaffBy The Robot Butt StaffNovember 10, 2015Updated:April 7, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

    Ben Carson has recently come under fire after a video surfaced of him declaring that the Egyptian pyramids were built by Joseph to store grain. And with more scrutiny being placed on the Republican frontrunner, we were able to uncover some more of his unconventional thoughts.

    Here are 19 other things Ben Carson believes:

    • The Statue of Liberty was built by the Israelites to scare away Satan’s giant crows.
    • He only ingests food through his nose, believing his teeth have a higher purpose.
    • He believes that if he just speaks softly enough, America will trust that what he’s saying is reasonable.
    • Ben Carson believes he was accepted and given a full scholarship to medical school. In reality, he did not apply.
    • Carson believes the downstairs of all women resembles that of a chicken, with a single orifice for urination, defecation and childbirth.
    • After watching The Matrix, Ben Carson came to agree with the belief that there is no spoon and now eats chili by grabbing handfuls of it out of the bowl.
    • That Noah would have looked way cooler riding in a sweet powerboat.
    • That he can be America’s first black president.
    • Ben Carson believes that presidential candidates shouldn’t be over-vetted with irrelevant questions like, “Are you batshit crazy?”
    • After wrestling with his personal faith for many years, Ben Carson now believes it’s not butter.

    Ben Carson Statue of Liberty

    • That he is related to Johnny Carson.
    • Ben Carson believes he can’t get a fair shake from the liberal “lame stream” media, which is out to make him look crazy. If everyone would just shut up and listen, he and his VP candidate Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, the guy from Ancient Aliens, will explain everything.
    • After his first poop during initial sentience, Carson decided he was leaking fuel and has yet to poop since.
    • Herman Cain makes the best pizza pie you’ll ever eat.
    • Ben Carson believes in the tooth fairy, and wants to stop the “dang commie” from redistributing more wealth.
    • Carson believes video games to be portals to other dimensions created by greedy space plumbers who want his golden coins.
    • Ben Carson believes in Santa Claus. He also believes Santa is trying to hijack Christmas and should be boycotted for attacking religious freedom.
    • Since seeing Independence Day, Ben Carson believes humans are controlled by tiny aliens in the head, and he spent the remainder of his neurosurgery career attempting to prove that – often on patients that required no brain surgery whatsoever.
    • That he can be president.

     

     

    2016 candidate 2016 election ben carson debate election GOP GOP debate politics President presidential candidate republican debate Republicans
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    The Robot Butt Staff

    We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.

    Related Posts

    5 Things to Check Before Buying a Home

    October 15, 2026

    Here’s a Client Testimonial About Our Realtor, Walt

    October 14, 2026

    Robot Butt is Selling a House!

    October 13, 2026
    Leave A Reply

    Search Robot Butt
    Read More Robot Butt

    The 50 Best Movies of the 1990s

    NASA History: What Were the Objectives of Every Apollo Mission?

    These Are the Weirdest Promotions in Major League Baseball History

    The Robot Butt Podcasts
    Robot Butt Podcasts

    Check out the Robot Butt Podcasts and then give a listen to our friends below:

    ROGUE SQUADRON PODCAST

    Star Wars, beer, music, video games and more!
    The Robot Butt Videos
    Robot Butt Videos

    Unrelenting comedy in video form!
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram Pinterest
    © 2026 ThemeSphere. Designed by ThemeSphere.

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.