CLEVELAND – On September 4, 2015 Robot Butt editor Steve DiMatteo married his now-wife Julia in a wonderful ceremony that they will cherish forever. Steve will certainly cherish it more than he does us. Leaving us for a pretty young thing. Fuck you, Steve, we don’t need you.
We take that back! We don’t mean to get upset, it’s just…well, we had a good thing going didn’t we? This site? But you’re just going to throw it all away. Chuck us aside as if we were just so many Aaron Carter CDs.
Well, we hope you’re happy. We’ll just carry on best we can. Trying not to think about the good times. All the moments we shared. How you chose Julia over Robot Butt. It’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made, and we’re going to make damn sure you regret it!
There we go again. We promised we wouldn’t make a scene. It’s just hard because we’ve been through so much. And here you are, starting a new happy life while we’re stuck fighting our way through the grime, continuing to report on the shocking happenings at Progressive and McDonald’s.
So congratulations, Steve. We’ll just sit here drinking and trying to forget you ever came into our lives.