I don’t know who keeps adding these prop bets but I’m asking you to cut it out! I’ve contacted the app multiple times and they keep telling me they don’t have to take them down. Apparently betting on my personal life is fully legal in all 50 states.
I’d be fine with it if the bets were cool or like, accurate, but every one I’ve seen is just completely bias’d and not at all accurate. People keep betting that I’m going to “fully steamroll a scene that was fully working” or “will step all the way to the front of the stage for a ‘sex with me’ line that plays to complete silence.”
Neither of these can can be judged objectively, and I strongly believe that the seven people at Full Blast Theater would not say that I “was the only member of my twelve person troupe that bombed.” I’d love to know who the impartial judge at Kashi is, and how they’ve decided that I was the only member of The Load Bearing Lumberjacks who had a tough Tuesday night, because last time I checked, Devin tried to make up a song about Taco Bell on the spot and didn’t exactly find a sonically sound chorus.
And no, I’m not only asking for these bets to stop because I keep betting and losing. Yes, that has been a very frustrating pattern, but I’m not even that mad because it’s so clear that these bets are fully rigged. That became abundantly clear when there was a bet that I would “trip on the drawstrings of my sweatpants, expose my dick as I fall, and lose zip zap zop in the process.”
That bet was placed hours before the show, and even though I saw it and bet against it, it still happened to me. That shows that these are rigged and someone somehow did that to me intentionally so they could make $23,000. The fact that all seven people at Full Blast AND all of my teammates cheered and checked their phones before I even had my pants up can only mean that they somehow all know about the insane improv bet fixing going on at Kalshi.
PLEASE, FBI, CIA, and DOJ, I have emailed all of you on this same thread so you can look into this.