Tickets! Buy your tickets for this Saturday’s Prom dance!
Oh my god — hi!
Do you want one?
No? — Ugh!
No, it’s fine…
I just feel like I’m wasting my time.
And, look, I know what you are thinking…but the whole student council worked really hard on this dance and everything, and I just think like…
Okay, so what, we had a severe string of biblical plagues — who cares?! Prom can still happen!
And I know, I know, Principal Foster like just came on the PA system and said official statements from the police, coroner’s office and the President of the United States estimate that the locust total is well over 10,000…
And okay, okay, sure, Congress has just passed a resolution to allow both martial law and the Code of Hammurabi in our school district…
And yeah, all the drinking water is still currently bloody and hot…
I don’t care!
We all worked really hard to make our “Roaring 20’s” theme sparkle, and I’ll be darned if some acts of God will stop it!
Don’t walk away! Ugh!
You know, you sound just like Tiffany.
Yeah, she’s mad because Bryce stood her up, so now she has to go with that nerd, Sheldon Ebert, ha, ha, ha!
Huh?
Well… okay…I guess Bryce didn’t like ‘stand her up’ and he more so ‘got sent to the front lines during the emergency draft.’
Huh? Okay, sure…I don’t think she actually ‘likes’ Sheldon, and she’s more so is just hanging around him because he’s the only one working on a machine that turns urine into drinkable water, and she’s probably helping him forage for piss supplies.
Whatever…she still didn’t win Prom queen even after she shaved her head like Furiosa, ha, ha, ha!
But…you know — she’s just jealous anyway.
I mean…I AM dating the hottest guy in school: Chad Chadley.
Oh, he just messaged me on my satellite receiver!
Let’s see here…
WHAT?!
NO!
NO!
Write on Medium
Look at this…LOOK at what he just said:
‘Babe, I don’t think I can go with you to the dance anymore.
I’m sorry, babe, it’s just when that first massive thunderstorm hit, my Mom got what the doctor’s called, like, the rarest form of Scarlet Fever…and then that freak hail storm washed all the vaccines to the next town over.
Saturday is the only day we can go that far based on what’s left of our food rations, so I told her I could take her.
It is urgent…the only doctor we were able to find said, in his dying breath, that if I don’t take her, she’ll go blind like Mary from Little House on the Prairie!
Sorry, babe, I love you and rock on Class of 2026.’
Oh!
My!
God!
AHHHHHHH!!
I can’t believe this…he is standing me up…for another woman?!?
Ugh fine!
How bout this, Chad:
‘I’m deleting you from my CB radio and losing your walkie-talkie channel.’
THAT will show him!
That’s it…
That’s it…
Tiffany was right.
This is stupid…
Maybe we should cancel this dance.
…
It’s fine.
No really.
It’s fine…
It’s actually good.
Yeah!
Yeah, it’s really good actually!
Yes, because this will just give me more time to plan our next dance…
The Sadie Hawkins hosted on Three-Mile Island!